When flipping through the Guardian the other day, I spotted an interesting piece on marriage/arranged marriage. It’s actually rather clever, in that it points out a major flaw in Western relationships – we opt for ‘love’ first. However, with the analogy used, I chuckled – the whole kettle thing makes me grin at how many people mistake lust for love.
However, the main thing she pointed out that was the Big Freaking Deal to me was, oh… that crazy thing known as communication. To that end, I think that’s why we see a so many relationships arising from online communities. People aren’t necessarily getting to scope out who is hot or not in advance, but they are getting to know these people who have things in common with them. Plus, to me, I tend to judge the prettitude of people based on how genuine they are. You can be the prettiest little blondie princess, but if you’re a transparent sociopath who wants everyone dancing attendance, well…you’re a rather ugly thing, aren’t you? 😉 No substance, no value, and a lot of depression to face up to when said prettitude inevitably fades… tres sad!
This is why, understandably, I have a lot of issue with people misrepresenting who they are in a social setting. Firstly, it can be counted as criminal impersonation, and that’s against the law. Secondly, what do you have to gain by pretending to be what you’re not? I cannot understand why being ‘liked’ (I use that in quotations, because people have some massively messed up ideas about what friendship constitutes) requires individuals to lie about whom they are in order to fit into an ideology. That’s erm.. kind of culty, and dangerously bad. And cruel, too – how would you like it if you found out your new best friend was a government sock puppet, or that you were forbidden from talking to someone because your ‘friend’ told you you couldn’t? It’s just… ick. Wrong.
But there’s also the whole danger known as romantic comedies. People who watch loads of them get some really wonky ideas about what a relationship actually entails. That’s kind of a media problem in general, though – if you’re put down and depressed, then you’re more likely to buy things to make your life ‘better’. Whether it be a beer, a foot cream (?!!), or that perfume that swears up and down to land you your Prince Charming… *shakes head*
Anyways, try talking. I bet you’ll be pleasantly surprised. And me, I’m going to quit distracting myself and try to fill out paperwork like a good little supplicant. 😀