Weeks like this make me glad I don’t blog for profit. I’m all silly-fuzzy-muzzy and not all together, and I keep finding my moods/hormones jumping so all over the place that I can’t keep a cogent thought pieced together. Obviously, if this were my job, I’d sure be living off of ketchup packets this week to make up for the not-as-awesome-as-it-should-be content.
Though having said that, I am chastising myself for the overuse of smilies; I really need to cut them down to a much more reasonable level. Perhaps I could make money blogging some year (even if I currently have no intention to), so might as well do my best to not pepper this with too much Internet, eh? Same thing goes for all my little actions – the smiling, the winking, the chuckling – I often curse myself that my everyday ‘writing’ has become so degraded that I feel the need to clarify exactly what I meant with so much treacle.
It’s kind of understandable why, though – we don’t really understand each other as well anymore. Perhaps it’s because a lot of us do our socializing online rather than in meatspace, or perhaps it’s because of all the Botoxing, there just seems to be so much more room to find offense with everything. I know I’m guilty of it – in the back of my head, everything is out to annoy and insult me. Because I colour my world as such, that’s what comes back to me; it’s reaping what you’ve sowed, after a fashion. Or perhaps it works in my favour because I’m guilty of doing it, I do my best to not be guilty of accidentally insulting everyone? It’s such a delicate balance, and one that eats me up to maintain. I want to be informative, intelligent, and have solid opinions. However, I want to do it without stomping all over everyone that disagrees with me. After all, the more opinions available (and we all have them about most everything), the healthier and fuller an opinion I may create.
I’m still not quite sure why I make this daily effort, if I’m frankly honest. Perhaps it’s an exercise in stubbornness; I have that trait in spades. Or perhaps it’s a genuine effort to communicate to the outside world, to make an effort to bridge the abyss that I usually keep between myself and others. It’s for their safety and mine, mind – I feel things a bit too strongly to want certain folks up in my craw. I don’t know if that’s just me, but I get ridiculously stress at people being energetic about anything towards me. It could be good, it could be bad, but I either start lashing out or completely shut down so I don’t go off the deep end. Too.much.imput… it’s not a good thing for my poor corrupted drive, hee hee.
Where was I going with that? Beats me. For now, I’m going to go try to get warm, ’cause today is kind of cold and dreary. Have yourselves a nice weekend, if that’s your thing.