Okay, this probably isn’t going to be much of a post, but bear with me. If anything, it’s more a food for thought//forming an opinion sort of thing centred on one that most everyone seems to have an opinion of – parenthood.
The basic idea is thus – I have had people in my life who think it’s okay to jump my case because, in their opinion, I don’t spend enough time with my child. In every single case, it has been a person who has sworn up and down that they will be child-free. I find this rather bemusing – do they have such a messed up concept of parenthood that they think that to be a good parent, you must completely sacrifice self for the sake of your sprog? Or y’know, instead use some logic and (in the case of guests) realize that I let them take my kiddo’s limited snuggle time? Sillies…
Of course, those of us that have kids know that it’s very important to take the time we need to keep ourselves together. And yet, because of opinionated folks, I see my friends admit feeling guilty for daring to take time to actually *gasp* do stuff that isn’t work or parenting! No dears, you shouldn’t feel guilty for the occasional night out with the girls – you’re of no use to your family if you’re destroying yourself playing happy family to appease observers.
And another negative side effect of this pressure to conform is, of course, the ever-so-annoying Mega-Mommy. Okay sure, some people are all about their kids, and that’s totally fine. I respect the rights of anyone to be as out with the yay kids as they want to, even if it’s completely not for me. But because of that, I have a lot of empathy for what I’ll call my future mommy friends – they’re the ones that intend to have children, but are put off by people who have apparently sacrificed all sense of self to be a ‘good’ parent. I don’t blame them for being concerned – when most people seem to become that Mega-Mommy, it’s kind of worrisome that that’s the only option, the only route for their future.
This is where the musing comes in – why are so many people so obsessed with keeping up appearances, or believe that the appearance is such the reality that they should assume anyone not striving for that ‘norm’ is wrong? With that sort of stuff in mind, I guess it doesn’t surprise me that more and more of my friends seem less inclined to propagate the species. Is it possible for people to step back from the false images they’re being marketed and approach things reasonably, or is this just one of those things where I’m going to be an odd one out because I refuse to let marketing dictate my life?
Anyways, no name-calling, no drama. Just gentle musing on yet another way I think society is kind of messed up. Parenting, after all, doesn’t come with a manual. Each kid is individual, and everyone has to handle it their own way. And if we’re lucky, we raise a not super-screwed up cutie to take over our bills when we get too old and infirm to take care of ourselves. Wha? Makes more sense than winning the lottery. *halo*