Body Rockin’
Today, I find myself mulling on body image for a myriad of reasons. First off, my child recently past her 18th month of existence, which is supposedly the magic date when a woman comes to terms with her postpartum body. I guess that’s true of me, too – I’m pretty accepting of the leftover bit of squish, because even if I’m supposedly ‘fat’ by BMI (if only just – feh!), I still feel delightfully female and quite attractive… at least, with my clothing off. I’m getting to the point where I’ve figured out how to dress to not feel like a lard lump too, so that’s a bonus; as Heatherbat said to me recently, my body had a lot of catching up to do to make the right baby padding!
And when I say a lot, I mean a lot – I was that sort of thin that makes people assume you’re anorexic and terrible and need to be abused and fed pies (yes, the irony is not lost on me that I recently said the same of someone else, but I was never that thin!). If there was a breeze, someone always felt the need to crack wise that I was going to blow away, and without fail – there was always tonnes of people ready to take out their body dysmorphia and self-hatred out on me. And I’ll be honest – I understood why then, and I understand even better now. I catch myself thinking more unkind thoughts at both ends of the spectrum than I ever did, but I catch and correct myself. After all, I know for a fact that real beauty is what comes from within, and some of the prettiest people I know are probably considered to be unhealthily fat. Or distressingly thin. Or anything in-between; I’ll worry about someone when it comes to actual health concerns, but otherwise? Be happy in who you are. Okay well, I don’t know that I’m kindly enough to extend this to people running around half-dressed at any size, but that’s just me being a bit prudy. *winks*
I can also say that some of what’s fuelling this train of thought is the recent-to-me revelation that the Dove campaign that was supposed to promote ‘real beauty’ was photoshopped. That didn’t surprise me; I’m more bemused that the only ‘fat’ people were old, or were hippy with a flat belly. No wonder so many people hate their bodies, when the supposedly fat models have flat tummies, and some of us don’t! It’s totally okay to have a flat tummy, mind – I used to, and at times I miss it. But outside of a bit of hilarious sagging on my undercarriage where the stretch marks happened that makes me look like a sad puppy there, I kind of like the curve of my post-baby belly. It’s sweet, and once I find more jeans that can stay up without trying to dig in (I have one pair and pretty much live in them, ha ha. Jeez, I hate shopping…), I’ll be pretty happy. After all, I’m mainly healthy, and that’s definitely more important about size, or fitting into narrow, flat-bellied ideas of what’s ‘real’ beauty. Dances With Fat teaches that, and I think she’s got a lot of good things to say… which I’ve probably said before, and will probably say again!
Whatever your shape, you are beautiful. I am beautiful. And I’ll continue to be beautiful, as will you, as long as we can all find the inner confidence to love ourselves… get on it, and I’ll work to keep myself on an even keel too. π
<3
I’m happy to see you are enjoying the Dances With Fat blog. I’ve shared a couple of her posts on facebook and never got a good response. Guess my average friend on there has more issues with size/weight/health than I do. I’ve always been a larger girl; alternating from slightly heavy to obviously obese depending on the year. I’ve also always had self image issues. But, it’s far worse these days then ever before. I know I should be proud of the reason why I have all this extra stomach skin but when I’m surrounded by freaks of nature that look great post baby, it’s hard.
I know that, for my body, being what society would call a “normal” or “healthy” size is not at all healthy. A couple years back I was at my smallest size of my adult life; I also had a heart attack because I was so incredibly unhealthy at that time. These days I am at least 20lbs larger than I’d like to be, but I’m healthier than I’ve been in a couple years. So… yeah. I just need to get my head around to accepting myself as I am because I’m not good at that at all. This body of mine has fought off cancer and bore a perfect child. I have every reason to be proud of it. Hopefully some day soon I will be.
I think that there are a lot of people who are so wholly convinced that they are a lost cause in attraction arena that they resent someone telling them that they’re beautiful. After all, so do all the commercials, who then proceed to say that they’re really not.
But yes, this is why I’m enjoying pointing out the size issue. There’s a LOT of misimagery that I hadn’t really paid attention to when I was tiny (I didn’t watch TV, for example), and I resent being told how to conform so much that it either goes over my head, or goes into an email to the ASA. *grins*
As for post-baby body… 18 months does seem to be a pretty magic number, having just past it recently. I don’t know that I’ll ever fully get used to it, but even if I’m supposedly ‘fat’ at 150, I feel much healthier than I ever did at 114. Granted, that’s also a function of endometriosis, but I’d rather make positive connections where I may. I know you will too in time; you’ve got enough self-love to admit that you’re not at peace yet. That’s a strength in and of itself, methinks. π