I’ve never much fitted into the girl stereotype. I rarely wear dresses, I never worried a whit about planning a dream wedding, and you probably don’t want to hear my thoughts about so-called fashion. Having said that, I’ve always been Mom – I do my best to be available to friends when they need a shoulder to cry on, to offer advice, to give unconditional love to people I appreciate who appreciate me back. I just don’t care to fit into the shallow social stereotypes that define what my sex/gender ‘should’ be.
I’ve noticed I get a lot of hits on people searching for genderfication, and I realize that, perhaps, I’ve not identified it as clearly as I could. To me, it is the social construct that you absolutely must match your physical sex. That, as a woman, you should want to like to wear pink and dresses and heels, feel naked without make-up and drinking with girlfriends, to take a passive role as an object, and all of that. That, as a man, you must hide your feelings, like blue and cars and treating women like sex objects, love the footie, and domineer. What bollocks, right? Only the weak-minded would dare to fall for any of that… right?
Sure, and heels actually were created to empower women. *rolls eyes*
That isn’t to say that being cisgender is bad – if you like heels or the footie or all the things that supposed define your gender (note I say gender, not sex. The former is a social construct, and the latter is biological!), then there’s nothing wrong with that. By the same token, it shouldn’t be treated as abhorrent that a woman wants to play football, or a man wants to wear make-up and be Jean. It doesn’t mean she’s a dyke, or he queer. They could be just as easily, but then, so could the burly builder or the dainty fashionista. But because so much of society and socialising appears to be built on an us versus them, them not fitting into easy-to-identify molds is ooooobviously bad because you can’t immediately prejudge them. How terrible, having to judge a person on their individual worth, right?! *snorts*
I will add that I’m not calling anyone evil or bad for prejudging – we all do it, no matter how good our intentions. But at the least, we can try to be mindful that I am I and you are you and he might want to be she, and that we all have the right to be what we are. That we shouldn’t let the media and society tell us that we’re bad and evil for not fitting a mold, or depressing us into buying products that won’t actually make us happy (or scaring us into it) . I know, I’m totally the enemy of the economy because I’m not running out to buy magic jeans to console myself at having a bit of a momma belly, or spending a fortune in anti-aging cream ’cause I’m nearly 30… oh well. *grins*
So anyways, just food for thought!