Whelp, today started with an almost-panic attack – joy. I had a feeling that I was possibly moving into an episode of the up side, but that well confirmed it. I have been enjoying feeling a bit warm and fuzzy, but yes – the good up comes with the bad up in the form of increased anxiety. So for the most part, I’m trying to keep my head down and not let little things get to me… emphasis on try. The thing that nearly set me off this morning was simply my child being a child (loud), and the song on the radio having a driving, circling beat. Child was moved to another room, radio was turned off for a bit, and I managed to collect myself a bit. I even took some St. Johns Wort, never mind I cannot think of a single time it’s actually helped me calm down. Now, Kava kava was fantastic, but I’m pretty sure it’s been banned most places… stupid, that.
So yeah, here’s hoping I can remember to keep breathing smoothly, and keep myself amused enough to prevent racing thoughts. Hopefully I’ll be back to ‘normal’ in a few days, and not slip back into a depressive state. Such is life, and here’s hoping that accepting the things I cannot fully change will continue to help me get by.