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It’s a Trap! — 4 Comments

  1. <3

    I never have time for the socialization I used to, I'm hardly ever on kol except when I'm on air and I'm absolutely swamped with school right now. When I got up this morning, I saw you on gtalk and almost said hello but I never want to say goodbye and I have midterms today and needed to study. It's hard for me to drop a quick note to someone who means as much to me as you do because a quick note isn't good enough for my Raeyn. But then I don't have time to write the novel you deserve and it ends up like the kids' bathroom – in such desperate need for a deep cleaning that taking this time to mitigate it by doing a quick cleaning just won't do. And then I end up going three months without anything at all!

    I consider myself a remarkably healthy person mentally, for the most part. But my perfectionism that leads to procrastination is a big trap for me. If I don't have time to do something right, I won't make an effort to do something half-assed either.

    So this is my half-assed I Love You because I don't have time this morning to write you a sonnet. <3

    I really do care about you and want to hear about your everything. I'll have to be content, for now, to just stalk you quietly and occasionally pop up to let you know there's lots of less-than-three with your name on it. Maybe someday I'll have the free time to be the friend that I want to be.

    • Loves you too! And I think you’ve hit a part of the trap that I missed – knowing and accepting that other friends totally have lives and things going on. I had another friend drop me a similar note yesterday, and it’s like… thank you, it means a lot! But I know that your life is insane and I forgive your lack of presence and time. To do otherwise would to be a bad friend, a mon avis. 🙂 So knowing that people have lives and not having much in the way of spoons to start the note drop (even though you and most folks know I do try, ’cause I have the time (if not the resources)) is even more maddening. I should be able to do it easily. It shouldn’t be such a freaking mammoth task. But that’s the brain for you. *chuckles*

  2. Yes, I’m in the same trap – there always seems to be so much busy going on and I do have a weird phobia about IM, I’m happy to chat if people message me, but I absolutely won’t message someone who’s showing as away, because if I set mine to away, I am definitely otherwise engaged and regard at it as rude if people do it to me. An example of one of my failings; me transferring my own issues and values to other people. And sadly, the busy is likely to continue until at least mid May, because we only have one weekend without commitments before Easter and from that point onwards (and even with being a more ‘normal’ person, I need some downtime for my own welfare), we are having building works at the house done, which are unlikely to be completed until the aforementioned mid May. However, we have got Eurovision pencilled in for coming to see you, as has almost been established as a tradition, if that suits?

  3. We would definitely be happy to have you up for Eurovision this year. 🙂

    Transferral, I think, is always going to be problematic for all people. It’s given me a great tool though – if I find that I absolutely abhor someone, I tend to try to identify what it is about myself that I do not like, and see in that person. It’s not an absolute (some people are just bat nasty irregardless of our own self-image), but it’s giving some great food for thought over the years.

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