HomeUncategorizedMaybe Hypo, Maybe Not

Comments

Maybe Hypo, Maybe Not — 2 Comments

  1. I think that for me, it does act as a metric, not because I want to ‘judge’ a person, but because I want to gauge whether someone is receptive to a conversation. Having said that, I also don’t do the small talk of exactly the same thing from one person to the other, I tend to open conversational gambits with a point of similarity we both must have, such as an observation about current surroundings, or my purpose for being in such. It’s not inauthentic or shallow, it’s trying to open a channel – the position I would find about immediately jumping into a weighty topic would be tantamount to being confrontational – what do you think about politics/religion/current affairs is a very abrasive opening gambit to me; also, how do you work out which weighty topic would be worth approaching without any preliminary – I’d be very afraid of stereotyping on appearance as being the way to choose! I totally understand small talk being offensive as the only way some people communicate; I don’t want to be skimming shallowly with everyone either. But none of the articles I’ve seen from introverts suggest how to surmount the issues that I’ve outlined above – so if I want to engage an introvert, what’s the best way to go about it? Right now I haven’t got the ability to spend time researching (my spoons are plentiful, but sadly my time is limited), but it’s something I’ve filed for future attention!

  2. I do concur that jumping in on big topic subjects of those nature are especially risky. *chuckles* Unless, of course, you’ve been nosy-posey listening in and can slide into the conversation with an insight.*winks and grins* Research and study, mon ami – that’s always been my trick before making any opening gambits. That’s a big reason I probably come out extrovert to a lot of folks – in any group I join, I try to pay attention to the social patterns and accepted behaviors, and anything specific about people I can pin down. From there, I can make a genuine opening gambit that doesn’t leave me feeling incredibly uncomfortable, and doesn’t shut down my mind. ‘Cause even though I know it’s meant well, phrases like ‘How are you doing today?’ shut down my mind and make me irritable.

    I know, that still screws the comfort of the accepted metric of gauging. I do accept that it’s a valid form for so many, but perhaps that bit of insight assists in understanding the introvert point of view?

    As for suggestions as to how to engage introverts, I spotted this particular article earlier when writing this post:

    http://friendship.about.com/od/Keeping-Friendships-Strong/tp/Friendship-Lessons-From-Introverts.htm

    And

    http://jenn-zee.hubpages.com/hub/how-to-befriend-an-introvert

    I know, not fully helpful, but it’s a step in that direction. On that second one, I’d especially take note of the first Do point: DO show a genuine interest in the person you are trying to befriend. If you want to form a friendship with her, chances are she intrigued you with something — so ask questions about that! Introverts are interested in talking about topics they are passionate about, often offering exciting and elaborate perspectives.

    So yesh… hopefully some of that is of use and interest. I am genuinely happy to try to pick this apart so that we can both understand better. 🙂

Leave a Reply to Raeyn Cancel reply

%d bloggers like this: