I found out yesterday that there’s a cap to the content on offer for the Diablo 3 beta, so it didn’t book up my weekend at all. Instead, I’m camped in Lord of the Rings Online on my desktop, chatting to my kinnies (hello, kinnies!), and getting a Sims 3 fix here on my laptop. I’m sort of drowsy and zoned out… I guess it’s good? There’s not a lot of get up and go, but it’s not soul-crushing either. Which reminds me of something I read earlier that is relevant to the previous statement:
Is Bipolar I Worse Than Bipolar II?
There’s a statement that stands out especially
‘And there is one more key difference between the two disorders – the one that sometimes makes me wish I had Bipolar I, believe it or not. That is the fact that people with BP II are very likely to feel at least slightly depressed almost all the time that they aren’t hypomanic.
It’s true for me. In fact, my psychiatrist told me that on the 1-10 scale he uses for rating mood, 6 is normal, and most of his patients with BP II hardly ever get above 5 (having to push yourself some), and 4 (having to push yourself often) is more common.‘
I refrained from bolding that entre passage, which was hard; I agree with it so hard. Days like todays are my classification of normal-good, and it would probably be a 4.5 by that reasoning(if not lower). I’ve always had a pretty strong capacity to drag myself into doing the things that need doing (though I’m sure people would miss that, ha ha), and I am having to train myself to not overcompensate when a hypomanic episode takes hold. But hey, that’s the good thing about knowing – it gives you a set of tools to identify and address problems, knowing what some of the cause might be. It’s not a magical fix (’cause those don’t exist), but it means that there’s just that smidge less internal pushing needed to make stuff happen.
That’ll do for now – I’m going to get back to my passive slackfest.