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I’m Doing it ‘Wrong’ — 6 Comments

  1. I’m sure that I will never truly understand, as the aforementioned ‘normie’ but at the same time, you’ve taught me a great deal about it – I still try, but I’m now more scared than once I was to engage, for fear of making it worse… For what it IS worth, I’d always hug you and I hope you know that.

    • You are a good friend, and I love you well. I think back to the period where you were especially trying to be helpful, and I only regret that I didn’t have a diagnosis sooner. That I had no actual explanation for my motives and impetuous and behavior… you’d know I wouldn’t have used it as an excuse, but to be able to have definitively said that I was working with a different set of cards, well… that would have been grand indeed. I am saddened that asking questions feels a more dangerous practice, and would if anything be more receptive to it these days now that I’m more stable in general. But I also understand and respect that you might not be so inclined do to past experiences. After all, touching the hot stove and finding out that it is hot indeed is not an experience that invites a repeat performance!

      And I always have room for hugs. ;D *squish!*

  2. Putting on “the face” is exhausting…there’s nothing left at the end of the day so processing is out of the question. and “normies” (i like this) can’t seem to touch the tip of the iceberg. pretending to appreciate ‘help’ is something i totally agree with. i’ve just resolved to keep to myself, which may not be the healthiest option.

    • Yeah, I won’t intentionally go full-face if I’m feeling proper miserable. I actually used to, when I was still in the Air Force, slap on thick eyeliner to try to stop me from crying, and as a visual warning sign to my troops that I wasn’t in a good way. They thought me beyond weird anyways, so that little affectation wasn’t extra-odd to their eyes. But if I’m not actively having a sad or being decimated by intrusive thoughts? Doesn’t hurt to try pleasant… but yeah, no, never forced. And if I’m feeling too miserable, I’ll isolate like hell too — I don’t want to deal with anyone, and even thinking about other people makes those spots so much worse. Really though, as long as we mainly manage to not harm ourselves or resort to super-wasting (I won’t pick on anyone if they do, but I understand now it’s not a good idea)… whatever it takes to get by.

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