Today, I’m having that flickering moment in my brain where it’s telling me that hey, stable right? No need for meds anymore, right? And I’m like… brain… shoosh. I know that I’d be back to the fight-or-flight default of before if I stepped away from being medicated, and that is not something that I deem acceptable. And maybe because that wasn’t so long ago, it continues to help me swat myself when I start to think of going away from what is currently working.
I also find myself feeling momentarily sheepish at having it so good. Sure okay, I still have a raft related problems of various problems, but most of it is mainly manageable (even if a lot of my management is Run like hell from triggering things!‘… which isn’t ideal either). But then, a fool bemoans their fortune, especially in cases like this where the bad will eventually show up again. I guess the bemoaning is, after a fashion, a prelude to the return of depression and whatnot… ’cause fretting. Bad self, don’t fret!
So yeah, not much in the brainbox right now… just trying to not let the frets break in and pull me down. Hopefully acknowledging this will give me the agility to stay ahead of them. 🙂