Good morning, world and sundry!
Well, the good news first — the anxiety appears to be subsiding. Which is good, because my anxiety has been reduced on the whole for the past year and this past month has been… unpleasant. I’m pretty well convinced now that the random break-out on my back had to be a stress rash; I will definitely be bringing it up at my next appointment with my list of concerns.
But the downside is that that mass of depression is still slowly nudging itself in. I sigh, and hope that it will be vaguely tolerable for not being mixed up with anxiety anymore. It will probably suck a big one (per normal), but I will continue to try and think positively! In that vein, hooray for only feeling completely run over and empty, rather than that plus the electrocuted lab frog of anxiety atop it.
And, of course, things are never as dire when yarn is involved! As I mentioned earlier in the month, I finally cracked the basics of knitting after nine years of struggling with it. Because I’m still so new to it, I’m just making squares out of scrap wool to eventually join into a blanket of some sort (or a really hilariously miscoloured coat, ha ha). I’m still not too sure about the edges, but the tension seems to be pretty good, and I’m starting to pick up good speed.
I’ve still not made my mind up in full on knitting, though. It’s laboriously slow compared to crochet, for starters. But it uses up less wool on the whole (or at least feels that way by the effort that goes into it), and I do admire the flexibility and stretchiness of knitwork. With both, there is the pure joy of making (which is something my dear and talented friend Miriam Felton hits on here, there, and everywhere). For me, the act of doing is an act of meditation, a joy; if I am depressed//anxious to the point of being unable to do, it means I am more certainly in a bad state!
What about you nice folk out there — is there any specific doing that is your thing? Or is each act of doing a celebration of existence? Is anyone out there as needing of tangible results of their doing as I am? I’d certainly love to hear about what other folks have to say!
And if you’re newer around here — hi! I am generally terrible at offering discussion points via blog in spite of years of forum experience, so yanno… if anything sparks a point you want to make, make it (with the usual caveats of ‘Be respectful’ and ‘Don’t be a dick’).