Oh hello, it’s a blank page. Crap… what do I put on a blank page? ¬¬
It’s more of the same, and I’m not sure that I’ll have the success in moving outward and onward towards work and whatnot this week. I’d thought about it, and that perhaps it was easier to deal with strangers than people I know. They don’t have any expectations or any ‘need’ to get up in my space. I think… *think* I might be able to handle leaving the house and going to work (whether it be the office or my in-law’s house) as long as nobody talks to me, or comes into my space. You’d think that would be an easy thing with so very few people in both locales (at least, the most immediate proximity to me parts of ’em), but I know that even one little dink might be enough to set me back, way back.
Which, of course, begs the question — do I keep waiting it out and hope that some semblance of energy and sanity restores itself sooner rather than later, or do I risk it? I think it’s fair to say that my cycling has gone from being rapid to the longer periods that, I guess, are ‘better’? If being depressed for months on end is better than emotions spiking all over the chart daily, that is. Well. It’s all bad, and worse for knowing that one cannot logic it away. And then, of course, worser still for knowing there’s not really any chance of ‘toughening up’ against the intrusions and instability that bipolar keeps in its wake.
Ah well, I guess I shall have to see what tonight and tomorrow bring. I’m not particularly optimistic, but I’ll continue trying to be hopeful. I hope that everyone else out there is having a good, brain-being-kindly day.