I’m feeling a lot of empathy with blank pages this week. I’m sort of empty, but it’s not a painful or depressed sort. It’s just a clean slate, and it’s delightful. It’s calm, it’s… dare I say, almost relaxing? I’m not sure I’ll ever get the hang of relaxing, to be fair — my shoulders seem to thrive on being jammed up at weird angles. *chuckles* But still, being able to wallow in slow and quiet is totally amazing.
Having said that, I’ve been feeling a bit fuzzy lately. I don’t attribute it overly to the meds or the bipolar — I think it’s tied to a probable physical cause. It means that outside of things I’ve got hard-coded into my daily/weekly doing (like my blogs), I’m not doing much past that. I’m thinking it might be time to bust out my tiniest of blank pages and make myself a to-do list of extracurricular writing activities. For example, my best friend Alicia hooked me up with half-price Scrivener, and I still want to walk myself through that. I want to develop a story idea that has been in my head for years, and while I’ve done a tiny bit of snowflaking on it, I’ve not managed to nudge myself into doing further work on it. I think that if I were to put things like that on a to-do list, it would remind me to think about them.
I think the best thing though is that I’m not feeling resentful about not doing All the Things™®. For example, I’d love to get back to being active on Google+, but rather than fretting about it, I’ve accepted that I’ll get back to it when I think I can handle it. Not that it’s an overly stressful place, just… I had to cut something to help keep myself in balance, and because that’s something I usually did at the end of the day, it’s where the axe fell. It’s certainly something to be re-evaluated in the near future, since we’ll be shifting schedules slightly to accommodate Lilbit going to school full-time, so perhaps it’s something I can comfortably add to the morning routine. I’m definitely going to do my best to opt for not worrying about it until the fullness of time makes it apparent what’s the haps.
For the most immediate now? Back to knitting.