Being Nine Inch Nails, this is miles more nihilistic than I am actually feeling. But I like the song and the album and it’s vaguely relevant to the moment, so — enjoy or not as you see fit. 😀
But yes, I’m off the Seroquel as of the 10th. I’ve been slow in reporting back because I have been flat-out sick since then. My birthday on the 11th was mainly wonderful, but I started feeling a bit ill at dinner, and of course, did not manage much in the way of sleep that night. I knew that was going to happen, ’cause that’s what happens when you forget a dose of Seroquel. I was mainly prepared for that — I wasn’t prepared to realize I’d been rocking a head cold for days and it was getting worse, or that I had to deal with a surprise stomach bug. Or was it a side-effect of coming off the Seroquel? The end result is the same — my guts were angry at me, and sleeping wasn’t an easy prospect.
But. But but but. It’s fair to say my mood is holding up, and that can be summed up in one filthy hateful word — bedrest. I put MYSELF on bedrest this week because I’ve been so dizzy and poorly that being on my back sounded better than being upright. It also didn’t help that I couldn’t stomach the thought of caffeine for a few days, which as yesterday finally being greeted with a Dr. Pepper shows — it helps a LOT with dizziness and headaches in me. Broken body = need sugary sugar sugar to keep fuelled, even if they’re ‘bad’ and ‘fattening’ or whatever. I expect that once I get the hysterectomy, this is going to become a non-issue and that (if my taste buds in general tell me true) I can expect to hit a point where my main form of sugary caffeine will not appeal anymore. I look forward to that day when it comes on its own steam; I don’t appreciate my body trying to backstab itself when already poorly like it’s done this week.
Anyways, I have an appointment at the hospital not with the psych team, but with the pregnancy folk to convince them that I’m ‘coping’. I think I dislike that word, though I more dislike SURPRISE APPOINTMENT! that I feel is superfluous. Were I not coping mentally, I’d talk to my psych team. :p Unless they want to give me something to help with sleep, then I might forgive ’em for this… whatever it is. I don’t really know, other than it triggered up as a ‘normal’ appointment for me because I admitted to having a mental health issue. I’m sure that I’ll have something to say about it in the next day or two, and hopefully I will be pleasantly surprised.
For now, caffeine and paracetamol. I hope everyone is well.