“I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2014 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.”
And of course, the requisite linking of the link, just to make sure it’s nice and visible:
Blog For Mental Health 2014
I admit that I’ve been dragging my feet on this for a bit, because I’m not really sure what to say this year. I gave a fairly detailed history last year, so I’m not sure I can top that one. I can report that The Bipolar Blogger Network is continuing to grow and thrive in spite of my current malady, which is exciting. I started it on a whim, and being able to continue to add quality bloggers has been a joy. I’ve hit a point where I’ve had to start becoming a bit more discerning, which is both pleasing and terrifying; I do so dislike having to exclude people.
Malady, you ask? For those who are new — firstly, hello. Secondly, I’m pregnant with my second and final child (due mid-June, which cannot come fast enough. If you’ve come over from my Facebook, then remember — keep this off my wall, I don’t want to talk about it there). This was definitely intentional and self-inflicted, but it’s certainly not doing much for my physical state of being, ha ha. Obviously, there’s still always going to be a mental health component to things. For starters, I’ve come off of my psychiatric meds; this is not something I do lightly. But because I know that a hospital setting would give me a nervous breakdown in short order, it’s what I have to do to convince the NHS that I’m a good candidate for home birth again (which, even with only 3 other people last time, was too many people). I’m also doing it on the hopes that my mood stability will be as good as it was last pregnancy, and because I fully intend to get right back on that bandwagon as soon as this kiddo is out. Part of me is worried that my tiny cocktail won’t be as effective after coming off of it (Seroquel and Zoloft were doing wonders for me, and I didn’t have the weight gain problem), but that’s life — a series of calculated risks, and fingers crossed I’ve done the maths well enough.
So then, where does that leave me in blogging for mental health this year? Well, for starters, I certainly need to keep track of my mood to make sure I am getting by as well as I think I am; many of us know that regular blogging and journalling is very useful for keeping track of this. And of course, to make sure that the trying time after the kiddo is born is well… less terrible than the first year of my 4 year old’s life. I continue to be grateful for her birth for finally being the spur I needed to get my diagnosis and treatment rolling, but that first year was pretty hateful and resentful from me to her. No real harm has been done in the end, and we have a wonderful relationship, but I’m always looking to do better for me, my friends, and my family.
I’m also hoping that my actions in blogging and chatting with friends will continue to serve to expand awareness of life with mental health, and yes, specifically the many charming flavours of bipolar (since that’s my particular chocolate, naturally). This is, of course, my self-therapy, the blogging and engaging with other bloggers. I might not have the fanciest words and stories, and maybe I’ll never really know if what I’m saying means much to anyone, but that’s okay too. I’m just glad I can put myself out here with everyone else blogging for mental health to say, ‘Hey, me too.’ By standing together, we are stronger, and harder to dismiss. After all, we’re people doing the best with our lives, the same as anyone else. We are valid. I am valid. This is valid.
And as I don’t know what else to say, I guess I’ll sign off in my usual way.