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Today is the First World Bipolar Day — 7 Comments

  1. If I could I’d shout very loudly, “YEA!!” and do some type of body movement similarly thought to go with a cheer!! 😀 Seriously, you said it so very well!! Most excellent!!

    I truly loved, from a personal standpoint, your words that it is not our place to educate those in our lives. They are the ones who should seek the information, love us, support us and not be a jerk (or a dick.) Over the years, especially when all these illnesses first got out of control, I felt like I was hitting my head on a brick wall to get certain people in my life to understand. Then I realized understanding would never come — and my I was tired of my head hurting.

    It’s unbelievable how many “friends” dropped me because I could no longer do and be as I once forced myself to do and be for decades of my life. Unfortunately I couldn’t get rid of some relatives, but I accepted their ignorance would remain and dealt as best I could. Some of those people are now in Heaven and the others I have learned how to love at arm’s length.

    April is my 21st anniversary of these things being out-of-control. I’ve lost a lot — my home, my job, many “friends” and parts of my mind. I’ve also gained a lot — weight, a closer relationship with my God, the realization of my true friends and the family members who love me deeply enough to stand by me instead of gossiping about me or condemning me. From a worldly point of view I’ve lost a lot — including a breast to cancer. Yet from a spiritual point of view, I’m the best I’ve ever been.

    So thank you for speaking out and thank you for letting me see how blessed I am, even if my body’s horrible looking and my eyes are dry because I’m getting older and it’s 3:00 am!! 😀

    And God bless you!! I think you’re amazing to make the choice to go through a pregnancy knowing for the sake of the baby you’d have to go off your meds. God bless you and you that baby extra-specially!
    –Kathy

    • One of my friends had posted something a month or two ago about how it is not a victim’s place to explain themselves to their abuser, and it just… finally… clicked. I am truly happy to educate as I can, but yes — I have any number of people who just aren’t gonna listen, and why should I use my limited resources flailing against those brick walls?! So certainly, a modified stance of, ‘Educate yourself a bit, and then we can discuss it’ is a much better give and take route. 😀

      I can only hope that I can be going as strongly as you 21 years post-diagnosis, hee hee. I realized yesterday that I’ve probably been dealing with bipolar in my life for 15 years+, my diagnosis was only February 2012. I’m glad to know though. Taking a journey is that bit easier with a lantern, you know?

      I still feel good about my choice to come off of meds for the baby’s sake (especially in knowing I will not be having any more children), though I wish my body would have cooperated a bit better. The chronic fatigue stuff is making the sanity stuff a lot harder, but the theory still bares out — pregnancy hormones do seem to elevate my mood to something reasonable and mainly stable. They just have a lot harder fight right now. But at least we’re hitting the home stretch, hee hee.

  2. It would drive me crazy how I’d get sympathy from some people (namely my ex-fiance) for having movement issues, but not for my emotional issues. Good thing he’s an ex now.

  3. Your “our brains are trying to murder us” punched me in the solar plexus in just the right way. Raeyn, that is the perfect way to put it, and I’m going to try and remember that from now on when I start feeling dark (right, remission periods, those are like unicorns, right?)– the essence of “me” and who I think I am at my core is not faulty, my character & morality & intelligence are not lacking– my brain is just trying to kill me, that’s all.

    • I’m glad that it’s a framing that you can use. 🙂 It’s a bit stark, but putting it to the basics certainly helps me.

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