After my ‘scare’ of the other day, it was a big relief that the pressure of the false memory/dream/whatever faded fairly quickly after taking that little extra bit of Seroquel. And it didn’t come back, so perhaps the combination of upping my meds on the spot and talking it out neutralized it. I find that talking/blogging about things like that rob them of their dark powers over me. After all, if I expose it for false instead of letting it lie to me and make me hide in its gloom… 🙂
Still, I always worry a little bit that something will crop up that I cannot beat down. It took me a long time to get to a point where I tried to fight down anything, and once I started winning against some of my brain’s tricks, I was worried that it would find new and worse ways to catch me out. The devil you know, you know? My brain trying to convince me that I was formerly married is definitely a new one, and as said — it was a fairly disturbing thing for my brain to crap up. But I have to remind myself that I am still pretty freshly postpartum; time might be ticking along splendidly, Littlerbit is only just two months old. My hormones and everything are still pretty shaken up, even if I am feeling mainly fine. So that doesn’t necessarily mean that such delusions are likely to be the state of scumbag brain play normally. I’m hoping at least, and hope doth spring eternal.
For what it’s worth, my brain has been working delightfully lately. For example, I’ve made some breakthroughs on my knitting abilities. In this week, I’ve figured out cabling, knitting in the round, and how to actually use stitch markers. I’m so chuffed — it opens up the world of knitting quite a bit wider. And, being left-handed, all my learning is hard-earned, as there is very little useful tutelage online for us sinister sorts. Between that and latent anxiety, my knitting skills have been especially hard won. But it’s so good for keeping my brain quiet in addition to writing and gaming, so hooray for being able to do it more better, ha ha.