Some internet meme-trends like doge here make me feel old, ha ha. But sometimes, it does well to capture the essence of an idea. In this case, my current physical state, which does make me feel a bit snarky. My levels of brain fog the past week or two have been ridiculous, and has me running to doublefist sodas first thing in the morning. The fog has been lasting for several hours, which makes it a lot harder to help out with getting the kids taken care of first thing in the morning. Lilbit (the 4 year old) wakes me up with a chirpy chorus of, ‘Mommy, it’s 8 o’clock! Mommy, it’s 8 o’clock, wake up!’. I then repay her… kindness… by chivying her through dressing and grooming. It’s not fun to do with the incessant questioning that comes from children that age. I thought I’d be able to handle the ‘why?’ phase, but man… hubris to the nth degree.
And of course, I wonder why I ache and am foggy and the brain comes up with all sorts of ideas. What if it isn’t bipolar, but is actually PMDD? What if it’s fibromyalgia instead of, or in addition to, endometriosis? Or is it just a symptom of aging + weather? I know my mother-in-law has been having some joint pain lately, and my husband says it’s a constant complaint for him as well. While I can sort of accept it could be that, my brain still wants to have concise answers. Knowing things makes them easier to fight; they’re not longer monsters cloaked in shadow. But really, I just want to feel unache-y and energetic enough to get some gardening done. I did mention that the chronic fatigue has clamped down again, right? Yeah, all the fun…
I think that my biggest annoyance of current is that the level of fatigue and physical pain has gone past the point where it distracts from my brain, to where it’s making my brain crankier. I’ve been a bit snappish and short on mental spoons, though I’m sure that I could fairly blame most of that on the brain fog. I’m doing my best to communicate this to my husband, and that does help cut back on some of the worst braintail-lashing. But still, I hope it lifts a bit because this sucks.
Ah well, I guess give it a few years, and the Seroquel-related fog should pass. Woo, years. -__-