As I sit here a week and a bit into December, I am thinking that I am in the clear after NaNoWriMo. In addition to being so much less stressed about it this time, I’m also on an antidepressant. I wasn’t last time, and I think between that and the ‘discipline’ of writing regularly, I did myself a bad turn.
It’s also encouraging, because it means that maybe, just maybe — I can expand what I do. Slightly. I think a lot of us with mental illnesses know that it’s a bit too easy to overstretch and do ourselves a bad turn, and so it gets to a point of avoidance. That I was able to do something challenging without breaking myself… well, it feels pretty darn good.
I still have to be mindful though, obviously. I know how easy it is to push past the point of reason. And, I know, I’m still totally in recovery from NaNo. I find myself a bit more easily frazzled, though that could just be situations being more frazzling (like having to stop in the middle of this post to take my computer apart to clean the graphics card fan so my computer quits shutting off).
Past that, I’m just enjoying life in general. Lots of knitting, lots of gaming, and lots of kiddo snuggles — it’s hard to top that.I’ve always liked the simple things, and a life full of them is a life well spent to me.
I’m also getting better, slowly, at not jumping up and volunteering to do all the things for things that I like. For instance, I am trying to find someone to take over as leader of my kinship in Lord of the Rings Online. It wasn’t mine in the first place; it sort of fell on my shoulders after the leaders wandered off to another game. I mean, I didn’t have to take over, but I felt like I had to this time a year ago. I think I’ve got my replacement lined up, which is bliss. I definitely am not enjoying the game as much being the boss person. It’s the same with NaNoWriMo — I have felt a few knee-jerk ‘ooh, let’s be an ML (municipal leader), but I’ve managed to slap that down. Really, if I can winnow it down to just the network (and if eval requests come in not-gluts), that would be keen. I’ve been so brain dead that I’ve been doing the same singular eval for like, weeks now. But that’s okay! I’m not beating myself up about it, and that’s pretty awesome.
Hope everyone is doing well out there. Will try a bit harder to make the blog rounds and say a proper howdy.