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Mental Health and the Mommy Wars — 9 Comments

  1. Happy people want to spread happiness, unhappy people want to spread misery, despite your illness having a serious depressive effect you want to spread happiness, which suggests that even with the depression side of things you are generally happier than a lot of people who have no diagnosed mental issues.

    Also your kids are adorable and I hope the eldest isn’t too badly afflicted with chicken pox.

    • That is an excellent framing, birthday twinnie. Thank you. <3

      Her chickenpox are way all over, but not too too many either. She's in pretty bright spirits today on the whole.

  2. I saw some link earlier about this “religion” posting on Facebook that women who have c-sections didn’t give birth. Oh, and while I did give birth “the right way” I had an epidural so I am somehow lesser and lazy and oh, yes, abusive to my child. And because I was on meds I couldn’t breastfeed and that alone makes you a terrible mother.
    I had to tune it all out. I’m me, I’ve done things my way, and they are the choices I have to live with.
    My kid is happy and healthy. I’ve gotten a few things right.
    As for parent-y friendships…All my friends had their kids in their teens and twenties. (One’s sixteen year old just made her a grandmother at 34.) I waited until 36 so there’s little common ground on that front. And it’s okay because I’d rather my friendships be based on common ground other than reproduction.
    Besides…the soccer moms wouldn’t have me. I’d be making fun of their mini vans and teaching their kids songs about zombies.

    • Not wanting to know songs about zombies? Pfft, their loss. And yeah, like. I picked meds over breastmilk for #2, no argument. I might’ve home birthed both times, but that’s because hospitals contain my three biggest anxiety triggers (noise, lights, and people). It worked for me, but I would definitely not judge someone for wanting a hospital environment if that’s what they want.

      • Oh I am petrified of hospitals but it never occurred to me I had any other choice. In a way, though, I am glad I had her there because she had an issue with meconium they had to tend to immediately.
        It should be a personal choice, not a societal event. Making a baby isn’t public sport, neither should bringing one into the world be.

        • Agreed. And now there’s that trend of telling birth stories which… well. I did it on Livejournal, so like, 20 people saw it, ha ha. Thinking about it after the fact, it strikes me as sort of weird that this has become a thing.

          • I didn’t even inform my family I’d gone into labor. I just wanted the ugly parts over with, then they could come coo at the spawn without them having to know every detail of her birth. It’s a beautiful event but it’s an icky beautiful thing. giving birth.

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