Warning: a bit cursier than usual <3
In the last couple of days, mindfulness CBT hit the news headlines. Apparently, it’s a grand idea for people with depression, and maybe even with bipolar! Um… except fucking not.
Personally, I’m sick unto death of mindfulness, and I am sick unto death of CBT. I am sick unto death of ‘well-meaning’ neurotypical/alltistic friends asking me if I’ve heard of one or the other. Nobody has been stupid enough to suggest that I come off of my meds in lieu of one or the other, which is good — I would probably punch them in the face.
You see, I probably developed bipolar in my mid-teens… but I didn’t get it diagnosed until I was in my 30s. That’s a long fucking time to get by without medical support (seriously, not a lick). Well, I got bullied into talking to a therapist when I was in the Air Force with the implication that my security clearance would be pulled if I didn’t, but I ended up the therapist’s therapist because there was seriously nothing that talking was going to fix at that point.
Nor was beating my depression over the head with logic and mindfulness; I would’ve put Spock to shame with my ability to logic. My brain and chemicals would be freaking out or depressed or whatever, and I would be sitting there bemused, chain smoking, berating myself because I knew there was nothing wrong, there was no reason to be feeling so terrible, what the fuck brain, stop this shit now.
You know what DOES work, and work well for me? Pharmaceutical drugs. It might have been a bit of a rough month while waiting for my antidepressant to do its most recent set of rewiring, but it’s starting to feel like things are back where they should be. Pills work. Pills give me a quality of life.
Oh but the article says only for some people and to not give up on meds yet!
Yeah, but you know what? CBT is very popular with organizations because it’s a measurable rubric’d sort of thing. And while I have not yer more than had a passing brush with it personally (a very insulting one that presumed I had no idea how to do anything), I’ve heard from friends that not meeting what the psychiatrist thought they should be had them written off as non-compliant. Yanno, rather than it not magically working for everything. I know, it works for some, and that is great. Maybe their situation is less severe than mine. Or just different — I get that what works for some doesn’t work for others. I’m just wary of things being pushed as the end all have-all against medicated therapy, as if needing drugs to get by is somehow bad. Nobody would tell a diabetic to quit taking their insulin, and I resent even the merest whiff of insinuation that my life would be better without my meds. I know first-hand that it wouldn’t be, because I was there for a very long time.
What do you guys think? Hope everyone is well.