I’m starting to feel like I’m back to normal… except normal is something completely different now. I don’t know how to explain that exactly, but like. Every day is like all days, in that they’re like none of the days? Or maybe that’s my brain’s attempt to circle around the feeling of being in a rut, of being stuck, of sinking into depression…
I think part of the problem is that I’m doing too much, even if it’s not much by healthier peoples’ standards. My hair is finally re-redded, which was somehow a bigger spoon-sucker than I expected. I knew it would be a bit crap without a shower available, but anyways. This will hopefully take care of the hair issue for some time now, which is one of those semi-integral pieces of being ‘me’.
I’ve also, after yesterday, slammed face first into a wall of needing to not be around people whatsoever. It was my mother-in-law’s birthday yesterday, and it was wonderful to hang out with her… but it turned into like, a 6 hour visit and dinner and it was more than I had mentally prepared for. The littlest has been rather clingy lately too, which leads to both lovely snuggles and ‘dear god get it off of me’. The latter is where I am right now, and am grateful the husband-fellow is wrangling the kids. It’s hot and my bubble needs to regenerate, so I don’t want anyone clinging onto me more than I have to put up with. I wish I could handle it better so he could get a break too, but hopefully I will find those moments and be able to make them happen. But not right now. Right now the world needs to go away and not touch me for a little bit. *chuckles*
I’m also trying to spin my head ’round to getting ‘important’ things done, like checking the email account for The Bipolar Blogger Network. My brain has flat-out refused to deal with that lately, which means there’s probably a million emails, and repeat ‘where are you?!’ emails. Blargh. It also didn’t help that my brain was fixated on setting up another blog on a domain that I wasn’t using. The shell of that is up now at Raeyn.com, and should hopefully be a delightful exercise in snark and opinion. It’s an outlet that I think will be good for me to have, so feel free to check it out as y’all see fit.
For now though, a touch tired, a touch insomniatic. It’s also wicked hot for this country and supposed to get up to 90F over the next week, which is murderous with humidity and no air conditioning. At least we have screens over the windows, so we can get a good cross-breeze blowing through the lounge. With a bit of a breeze and the ceiling fans here in the lounge, it’s just about tolerable, though still draining and dehydrating. It’s definitely limping along, limp… limp… limp.
My mood is still mainly okay though. It’ll be better after my bubble has a bit of time to recharge. I’m glad that seems to take less time these days than it used to, since second kiddo means less time to myself. I’m about to get a few minutes now, so I am going to go enjoy that. 😀
I hope everyone is doing well out there. Hopefully I’ll start making the rounds a bit better again in the nearest future.