I found out yesterday that we had lost another member of our tribe, pseudonym blahpolar. I also found out yesterday that her offline name was Ulla, and I am certainly in agreement with the rest of the Bipolaratti that said name should be remembered. You should join us in remembering her and her name on the 10th.
Heh, off to a disjointed start. That’s pretty much what I expect this to be on the whole. I feel like I should be full of words and meaning and memory-sharing, but like… I guess I’m just in shock. I knew she wasn’t doing that great, even if I wasn’t the best blog poster or commenter. I’d actually been debating emailing her for some time to check in, since she’d gone unnaturally quiet. That was the opposite of my concern when I brought her into The Bipolar Blogger Network — I told her she posted. A lot. And that it wasn’t a bad thing per se, because it wasn’t. It was just a bit overwhelming to pick through to vet her blog properly. And it was a good blog, headed by a talented writer and artist with her own slant on life. They say that on the internet, only about 1% of its denizens are net contributors, and she certainly was.
Aaand that sounds stilted and formal. Good job, brain. ¬¬
But really, what do you say in these circumstances? If Ulla had been my BFFFFF, would stand up and say, ‘What a magnificent bastard’. I’ve told bat that — he isn’t allowed to die unless he can pay for me to come to his funeral to say that. I think that Ulla might have liked that as well. I didn’t know her as well as some other folks (read Dyane’s amazing tribute here), but I certainly liked her. But I feel really really awkward when people tell me that they are sorry for my loss. Much like Wendy before her, I cared in the way I care about all my fellow Bipolaratti… but it’s not like they were my BFFs. I mourn their losses because they were people. I mourn their losses because people I know and like, and people I don’t know and/or don’t like are suffering. Sometimes mourning seems all that I can contribute. Is there an afterlife? Are our lost comrades looking down, knowing that they are missed? I’m somewhere in the agnostic-apathetic range and not really sure that I believe in gods and God and an afterlife. I guess I hope so, if only so people can go to a place where they don’t hurt anymore.
Anyways. Ulla. You magnificent bastard. You were pre-missed, and now post-missed, but never forgotten. In your honour (dubious as that might be), I’ve started an In Memoriam link section on The Bipolar Blogger Network, right under the main bloggers category. I’m half-tempted to add Wendy’s url, even if she deleted her blog before her death. Because you’re still part of the family to me, and well… just want to do my bit.