Doors and Windows, Entropy and Stasis
Happy Friday to all!
As I sit here watching my child try to commit suicide by knocking a flatscreen TV over (don’t worry, she can’t actually manage it), I smile and think about how life is ever changing. And while this is very difficult in some ways (ask me how I feel about my home town sometime), it’s exciting in others. For instance, my family over here is in self-employ in their own business. Last year, we thought about expanding out and taking on new clients, only to realize that it was completely undoable as things stood with the amount we were bringing in versus how much would be going out to take on new staff. So we shelved it… until now. While it’s not completely sorted, it looks like we might be able to work out a deal to get ourselves that extra staff at almost no cost to us, which would be beyond jawsome. There are points that need ironing out and sureties to be made, but so far, so good.
Of course, if you’d asked me five years ago, I would have said that my life was going in a completely different direction – west, not east (lulz). I had different ‘career’ prospects, I had different romantic prospects, but all of this was sort of fixed in my mind. My life from then to say, the next year, was just biding time until I could make my life actually start or something.
And then my husband came along and gummed up the works – good job. <3
But that’s sort of the thing with me – I’m just incredibly cautious. As one of my best friends said to me yesterday, in spite of the fact that I think I’m an open book, I’m more like a cypher to the key to the book. I’ll tell you anything, but you have to be brave enough to actually try it. And because I am so cautious, I inch along very carefully, am very controlling of what I say and do so that I don’t stand out and attract attention. I’m indecisive, and never really sure which way to go about things. I think the combination above means that when I do make a decision, and am absolutely positive on something, it seems a rather bold stroke to most. Me, I still don’t find it strange that I moved to a country I’d never been to prior to immigrating, hee hee. I just saw the open window, and leaped through, just like I did with our window as a kid back in Texas. It made sense to do it, like it was destiny or something camp like that, like it was just the right decision. I almost wish I could make all decisions like that – it’s less painful in some ways. *chuckles*
I realize that my train of thought has already wandered off before I got to a point… oh well. I guess the tl;dr in the back of my mind is that I need to accept change happens, if only so I can learn how to let go of things. Oh, that’ll be the day…
Your personality like that is part of why you’re so awesome. Just saying… *grins*
*smiles* Glad to be liked for me by those who actually take the time to get to know me!