I have a secret to tell. At least, it’ll be a surprise to some – I have absolutely no idea how to relax. I never have, and I’m not sure I ever will figure it out.

Oh sure, I understand the importance of leisure – I give myself wide swathes of time to sit around gaming or reading to maintain basic sanity. But often, it’s still doing things; stopping is for sleeping alone. I suspect it might have been different when I was younger, but years of poor health compliments of probable endometriosis meant that I had to keep going or risk not being able to do much of anything at all. Because, of course, your body destroying itself from the inside every month does tend to wear a soul out, hee hee. Which meant a lot of sedate but engaging activities, like computer gaming, crocheting or cross-stitching , etc. But do I find these relaxing? No.

And my husband’s idea of relaxation (watching television) stresses me to the nines – I don’t really find sitting around watching TV or movies as enjoyable as many do. I, after many years, can put up with it in the background, but that took a lot of work. *chuckles* It’s just…I don’t know, the idea of vegging out as such is a bit abhorrent to me. I remember being a kid, watching oodles of telly and not remembering what happened when the commercials hit. It just doesn’t seem to be… productive enough, I guess?

But that sort of proves the point, ha ha – always looking for some value for my time spent, even my ‘fun’ time. But it’s something that I think I’m going to be thinking on for the next few days. For now, I’m going to blame it on the deceptively sunny weather today – it inspires calm feelings. Until you step outside and realize it’s still freezing – curse you, Mother Nature! Plus, it’ll be funny to have something on my weekend to-do list that isn’t an easy thing to tick off… I do so love torturing myself. ^__^

<3