For the past couple of months, I’ve been on the verge of a total meltdown. Okay, I’m often on the verge of total meltdown – I’m a bundle of anxiety, nerves, and non-existent focus. But this, ha ha, this is for a good reason – socializing my little one.
As I’ve indicated pretty strongly – I’m not from around these parts. I don’t know what the norm is for finding playgroups, and a year of searching has turned up… one. One, and at a time that I have absolutely never been able to make use of because of my child’s nap schedule. And no, I’m not going to rob her of sleep for the sake of socialization or getting an afternoon out – methinks that a bit cruel to yon tiny one! Still, this isn’t the super-tiniest of places (not a huge city, mind, but a decent microplex – coined!), so you’d think it would be easier to find some diversity in groups… right?
To add annoyance to more annoyance, I found out today that my child should have been registered for SureStart, which provides a lot of childcare and child-related information to the residents of this fine conglom of countries. Most hints of potential groups I can find seem to be tied up with that, and yet, I couldn’t find anything useful about SureStart itself. But yes, apparently we were supposed to register her when she was born, and that’s how we were supposed to get useful information – sigh.
I guess I might’ve found this out sooner if:
A. I had given birth in the hospital rather than at home, and
B. I had wasted my time being annoyed by antenatal classes.
That isn’t to say that antenatal classes aren’t a comfort and informative to some – it’s just to say that it didn’t appeal to me in the slightest. I have a caboodle of younger siblings, so picked up most of what I needed through my mother’s pregnancies. What I didn’t know, friends and the Internet provided. Add in the fact I’m kind of groded out by using the fact that I had sex to make friends and abhor anything that smacks of group therapy, and I could only envision being incredibly discomforted and distressed by attending such courses. And I still feel I made the right choice for me – I had a happy, healthy homebirth, and intend to do the same whenever we try for kid #2 (which will probably be next year).
So yes, I have to admit – I shot myself in the foot for getting information, and I’m like to do it again. But in fairness, I didn’t even know what questions to ask! So here’s hoping that actually getting the kidlette registered means we can actually find some way to socialize her. Because while I sure as hell don’t want someone trying to buddy up with me because we both have kids (gross), I do want my kid to be able to socialize. And at 17 months, and her having had a single chance to hang out with other kids… it’s been beyond dire for some time. *sighs* Fingers crossed, eh? It would do me a world of good to have, at least, one less thing to quit freaking out about when even a pen in the wrong place can stress me out to a ridiculous point!
And if any of you happen to be here in Bedford for some miraculous reason – suggestions? xD
[[radio edit]] Hooray husband – he’s attempting to organize a playdate with another DJ friend who had a baby the month before we did. Panic receding slowly, slowly…
My girlies only had kid interactions with other family members until Kathleen was 4 and went to preschool. But they did have each other relatively close together (15 months apart and all). Don’t stress too much about it hun, she’ll do fine. And yay for play dates. I hope you both enjoy them.
Thanks! And in E’s case, we have something besides parenting in common – DJing. Him and the husband used to alternate weekends before the bar got shut down, so. 🙂
That’s always good for ya’ll too. At least it gives ya a common base while the kids play.
I’ll ship David over there, he can socialize with her. It’ll be good for both of them. A 6 month old can fly alone right? 😉 I’ve been struggling with a lot of the same things. I don’t want my kid to become a selfish brat who can’t share (like my niece) but I also have issues actually leaving the house. My issues are a little different than yours but similar enough to be able to relate. We have been trying to set up a playdate with friends of ours that had a baby two months before us since before David was even born. It just happened this past weekend. Hopefully the next one doesn’t take another 6 months. I did join a meetup group through meetup.com that’s a parenting/mother’s group. I was hesitant at first but, in the end, I have been loving it. I made sure to find a group that had similar parenting ideas as me and went with it. If nothing else, I use the forum a lot for answers to my silly 3am questions.
You know, I actually looked to see what local groups were available on Meetup… and found some nutters:
At least we’re going to the Big Lunch this Sunday, so there’s the off chance we might get some hinthint of people to socialize with that are like-minded. Because yes, I admit my problems are a large dose social anxiety (that I hide oh so well outside of the massive fever blisters!), and the fact that I don’t want girl friends. I don’t like shopping, I don’t like make-up, and don’t even get my started on heels. *laughs* Nor do I want to commiserate with strangers – it’s that group therapy thing again. So y’know… baby steps, baby steps. 🙂
Regarding that meetup group….erm….yeah….
It’s all about the baby steps. Go with what makes you comfortable and you’ll figure it out. If nothing else, if there’s a park near-ish to you, you and/or Neil could always take the baby up there and hang out on the benches by yourself while she goes and plays with other kiddos.
In completely unrelated news, I met a man over the weekend that is from your neck of the woods. I don’t remember the city he’s from at all but he said it was very close to your city. He moved here for his wife a couple years back. He told me, and I quote, “I bet you have never met anyone willing to move so far for someone they really only knew through the internet.” I chuckled to myself and told him he had no idea just how many people I know that fit the bill.
There’s actually a really nice park right across the road… as long as you don’t make the mistake of walking it when school is letting out. There are some damned ridiculous rude motherfuckers who expect you with the stroller to get out of their fat lazy ways. Erm… the hell? The path isn’t wide, so why am I the one wrestling off onto the grass? Once was enough to not make THAT mistake again.
But yeah, no… I don’t think I’ve ever seen a kid her age playing in the park. I see them in strollers, but not on the equipment. But obviously, as she gets bigger, that’s going to be less of a problem. 🙂