You know, I’m sitting here looking at my list of bookmarked articles, and all I can think is ‘meh’. Maybe it’s the air today; it’s very overcast and heavy. It’s not particularly encouraging to do things or think about things, and I find this reflected in the fact that I’m actually mainly staying put in my chair, placidly grinding through my stack of figures to input. I value these days, mind; I’m often so bouncy and out of control that I spend most of the day trying to make myself sit down and do something, anything, to focus my poor mind.

Which, to my bemusement, gives me an awesome natural segue way to one of the pieces I’ve seen this week:

Research into brain disorders under threat as drug firms pull out
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2011/jun/13/research-brain-disorders-under-threat

Now me, I’ve got head problems. I don’t know what they are ’cause I am, to date, undiagnosed and running unhappily free. My parents never bothered/couldn’t afford it/ignored my pleas/were in denial, and I couldn’t find out while I was in the Air Force without risking my job, which I loved. So I feel the fact that I’m only coming at it at this stage at my life means that I’m not being taken as seriously as I could. I also admit that I have shot myself in the foot a few times by virtue of the fact I’ve been trying to not diagnose myself; apparently, the NHS loves it when you do that with the brainbox. So I’m back at base one with half the analysis I’ve had done completely missing (true story; I’m still debating lodging a complaint), and being recommended for a therapy that was deemed unsuitable the first time around.

It might be suitable, but as much as I despise being on pills, I’m pretty sure I need to be medicated to some degree for it to actually have a chance of doing anything. So while I’m not sure if my depression issues are severe enough for me to require medicines for that, it’s one of those things that wouldn’t hurt; I suppress that side of me so deeply that even I don’t know how bad it is. I know I don’t need to drink anymore to get by, so that’s an excellent step, but it’s still there, waiting to pull me down into the abyss again.

So yes, it concerns me when there might be a decrease in funding and research into things that might make my life better in future. That people sue so willy-nilly that companies are scared unto death to move for fear of litigation. I actually had someone at a picnic the other weekend in drop-jawed amazement that Americans don’t straight-jacket themselves for fear of getting sued like people here do. Maybe it’s because Americans are ‘wilder’ or something, but I can’t think of anyone or anything so freaking scared of someone suing that it prevented them from getting on with doing… whatever! *laughs* So while I guess I cannot understand the mentality into that whole ‘culture’, I do frown that it makes it that much more difficult to understand the make-up of our crazy species, and whatnot, and all the… em… where’s my train of thought, again?

*follows the derailment to its grisly burning end* Well… back tomorrow? xD

<3