Behind the Smile
I’m still a bit out of commission from the stupid thumb injury, so I shall likely be brief. I saw this on a friend’s Tumbler stream:
And I smiled. Wanly. It strikes a chord with me, because I’ve most definitely had my self-defense smile mistaken for happiness. Heck, I turned it into a story of sorts. Because people frankly don’t want to know more than the sound byte good/bad/fine. Because even if they actually did, it hurts too much to open it up and share it. Oh sure, I’m a bit better now having realized that I DO have problems with depression; I didn’t realize this until my mid-to-late 20s – ouch. It took immigrating to another country and finding my husband for me to get past depression enough to actually live (or as my mother commented, I was happy for the first time in my life. And it was scary to realize she was absolutely right). Granted, they haven’t gone away and I’m still dealing with them on a day -to-day basis, but at least coffee will save me, right?
Coffee may prevent depression, scientists say
Best to get to chugging, eh? I’m more inclined to think it’s the smoking and the drinking and the avoidance of organized religion that aided in keeping depression at bay (I say snidely – I miss smoking and how much good it did for keeping my anxiety in check). That is to say – I don’t buy it. Maybe it helps for some, but doesn’t do the trick here outside of being yet another tasty caffeine delivery service. If anything, it makes me wonder what the define as depression; it’s a well-known fact that statistics can be twisted to mean anything. All in all though, I’d just like to see society quit assuming that everyone who is sad is depressed, and that it’s all some sort of attention-seeking cop-out of life just because a few incredibly sick folks exploit the general ignorance of others to be in the spotlight. As for me… I’ll do my best to keep my husband up-to-date on where my emotional state stands as best I can, and hide behind the smile otherwise. It might not be the best survival mechanism, but it’s what I have to work with.
Well, and try to speak out a bit more so that people think about it more and perhaps help spread awareness that mental health issues continue to get worse society-wide because of the pressures of modern society, but eh… to each their own on that one. 😉
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