Hello, world! I’m not quite all together here today; I re-started a medicine last night and now I’m a bit loopy. I do have a quick piece to share, though:

Sleight of hand: BofA moves dodgy Merrill derivatives to bank
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/business/sleight_of_hand_uy96iNSbW99JHMRnbxgvfL

This strikes me as your stereotypical bad gambler, thinking that just one more big score, just one more win, will set everything aright. And, of course, that doesn’t work and it ends up with broken limbs and other eye-rolling overdone-in-comedy tropes. It’s kind of cute when it happens to an indvidiual in a situational comedy – it’s not cute when it’s a bank gambling with the hard-earned money of its depositors. Add in their current plan to charge their members even more money, and it’s completely understandable why you see things like Bank Transfer Day popping up. People are already moving their money, and I admit – I’m one of them. I still had some Bank of America accounts languishing state-side that I couldn’t figure out how to close from here, seeing how there aren’t exactly branches, and I have some fairly severe problems with using phones. And even if there were a branch nearby, I’ve had it on good authority from many friends who used to work in banks that closing too many accounts for customers is grounds for firing; I think this sounds crazy-illegal-bad, but that’s just me. I completely understand that businesses want to keep customers and their data s tenaciously as possible, but there.is.a.limit, yo.

Thankfully, my mother found a viable workaround that means you’re not risking getting some poor kid near you fired – go via online banking. Here’s what I wrote on a social network:

If you want to know the sneaky workaround for closing your Bank of America account – do it via the web banking. My mother figured this one out. Select ‘Customer Service’, and wait for the page to load… and then a teense. The top left option should be ‘Chat now with an online banking professional’. We put ‘Checking or Savings’ for the reason we wanted to contact, and requested they close the various accounts. You’ll need to get all your money out before they can close it, so do that in advance. But it seems to work, and avoids the hassle of someone trying to tell you that you’re not allowed to close your account. 🙂

It feels like it shouldn’t be possible because it’s incredibly easy and works in a matter of days, but it does work. We aren’t convinced it’s a person doing it, or if it is, it’s someone whose first language isn’t English working from a script. While I hope they aren’t getting fired for doing the good thing and enabling a customer to do what they wish with their money, if it is a bot, it’s probably not a real concern.

I should add that I didn’t specifically do this because of Bank Transfer Day; I’ve been trying off and on for four and a half years to figure out how to close the stupid accounts from this side of the ocean. I am pleased the timing worked out to count towards this particular sub-movement, though! And if you need or want more information on this, please check out the Facebook page:

Bank Transfer Day
https://www.facebook.com/Nov.Fifth

I think the FAQ covers most any questions one could have, and allay concerns that it could cause another depression, so… check it out, and decide for yourself what you think. For me, I’m going to go rassle up more coffee – have a good weekend.

<3