I don’t post much about my personal life here; I have a private blog for that sort of thing. But I did want to take a moment and comment on things forthcoming.
1. Another Child? My husband and I are intending to start working on baking up kiddo #2 in the nearest future; this obviously is on my mind a lot. I didn’t particularly enjoy pregnancy the first time around for all that I had a pretty straightforward pregnancy terminating in a natural home birth (by choice, not accident!). Boy or girl, this one will hopefully be our last one, as I don’t really want to be in a situation where kidlettes can gang up on us. As the eldest of four, we used SIN (safety in numbers) to our advantage, so this is an informed choice. Plus, I support the concept of zero population, so two or less children fits into that ideology.
2. Passport replacement/name change: Now that I have my British citizenship and passport, I feel that I am able to change my name state-side with a minimum of complication. To have done it before I had my British citizenship would have entailed temporary passports, visa transferral fees, etc – it would not have been ideal. Providence is handing me the chance to go get my new passport photos taken (once again, without enough notice to slap on war paint – oh well!), so hopefully I can get that ball rolling out of my court sometime next week. Speaking of next week…
3. Turning 30//Branching Out? Oddly enough, I’m completely okay with this. My 20s were incredibly chaotic, and while I made a lot of personal growth, I look forward to this decade as the decade of stability. I should hopefully finally have some sort of fix on my mental health, my immediate family will be made complete, and I have hopes that these factors will enable me to be well enough to get out into the world more. That’s a big hope, that last one; the fact that this country closes early (by my American standards) makes it exceedingly difficult for me to identify potential situations where I could possibly make new acquaintances. My 90s method back home was to hang out in all-night diners; I had the privacy of a booth if I wanted it (which preserved my introverted need for personal space), but was sociable enough that one could cross-talk and develop relationships without being too up in someone’s space. I know, I know – the pub serves the same-ish social function here, but I cannot stand to be near anyone inebriated. I get contract drunk, and I do.not.like that feeling at all. So it’s a Gordian knot that I shall have to keep picking it until I can find an agreeable solution that doesn’t risk making me ill from too much social interaction; I think that’s only going to get worse the older I get, if I’m honest.
4. Going ‘Home’: It is my fervent desire to get back to my home town this year. My husband has never been, and it’s coming up on five years since I last passed through. That’s a long time to not see friends and
family non-related jerkwads that I’m supposed to be nice to my stepdad’s relatives. Besides a need to renew my driving license, it will serve as a reminder that home is no longer home – almost everything that made it so to me has changed since I first left in May 2001. My high school is changed, its surrounding landscape is obliterated, all of my hang-outs bar one are gone (IHOP shall never die, apparently), and of course – everyone got on with their lives since Ye Olden Days. There are wives to meet, addresses and phone numbers changed, habits and hobbies matured, and of course – not everyone is there any more. So really, I don’t know what to expect, but I’m realistic about the fact I will likely get upset that x or y has also changed, making my image of youth and comfort even less secure.
5. ??? Who knows what else this year or decade will hold? I don’t play the what-if games of my youth any more, but it’s obvious the world is turning to hopefully start a bright new day full of people power. As for me… we’ll see. I’m feeling a bit aimless right now, which kind of sucks, but the thought of trying to make up an arbitrary aim stresses me out for more than its worth. I hope I can find some guidance, whether internal or external, to help ease the process of considering ways to improve and increase my life. Until then, I’ll continue my normal course of self-improvement and analyzing!
And y’know, much in the way of good thoughts and ideas to the lot of you. 😀
Ummmm, well maybe you could join a book club…or a writing club…or something? 🙂 For the social aspect.
I imagine that going home will be bittersweet, but also good!
Yay for kid #2. I’m also of the opinion that nobody needs more than 2 kids 😉
I have thought about it; my mind tends to sort of short out before I can make any real contemplation on it. I don’t have time to read like I’d like to, so the risk of not finishing a book would send me into really bad stress cycles for not being able to complete a seemingly simple objective, yadda yadda. Writing… I’m trying to get my head moving there, but I apparently can’t even manage simple NPCs right now! Though having said that, I might try again to see if there’s any local fibers group (crochet/knit), since that isn’t goal-oriented. So yes, long and short – these are options I’m considering for investigation. But as Bedford is super-small (population is less than 80,000), it isn’t exactly fat with options. :/