While I’m not sure of my sleep experiment worked on the second go, I do know that I am cheerfully vacant today. That means that there’s not much going on in my mind or in my direct environs, and I am more than fine with that. I think I’ve said before that I live for these periods, and it’s true. It just feels… the closest I will ever get to relaxation, yanno? I’m terrible at relaxation; yesterday was supposed to be all for it, and yet, I spent a large chunk of my waking hours crunching numbers for a game. Really, REALLY – who volunteers to do *math* for fun?! Apparently, me and my weak math skills do.
Ah well, I can’t complain for now. Maybe in a few days boredom and depression will sneak back in, chiding me for my attempts to appreciate and embrace stillness, but I’m doing my best to not dwell on it. I have such a big problem in fixation, and I consider it a miracle that being medicated has enabled me to make strides in deconstructing some of that torture. No, best to enjoy the moments as they come, and that’s that.