I’m sort of letting the week’s musings settle in, while fighting off an onslaught of racing thoughts. It’s always stupid things, such  arguments with people that will never happen (mainly). It’s easier to quash those on Seroquel than it was unmedicated, so that’s a pleasing thing. I also spotted a bottle of chamomile extract pills at the pharmacy yesterday, so knowing that I find it has positive effects against anxiety, it was a no brainer to pick up a bottle. I had a pill yesterday evening and one this morning, and I think it’s helping. I’ll need to see how it works over the longer term, but as said – can’t hurt to try!

Though having said that, I am biting my lip and wondering how I am going to handle medication and pregnancy. No, I’m not pregnant at current that I’m aware of, but myself and my husband are actively trying for #2. The general wisdom is that pregnant ladies should take nothing, to include avoiding things like aspirin (but paracetamol is sort of okay, I think). I made it through my first pregnancy without medication, but then, I had yet to be diagnosed and was continuing to bite my lip and exert pure willpower to keep from going out of my head. I also had a slight distraction in working on getting permission to settle here in the UK, and that sort of big thing is a good distraction indeed. I won’t have that this time around – I’m settled, I’m a citizen, and the biggest thing on my future plate is bothering to get my British driver’s license. Even if the test is a much bigger deal here than in the US, it’s still something I’ve done and passed before – not a big attention hog.

I am not ready to come off medication yet, but I am hoping I can pull it off when there is a bun in the oven. From my reading, Seroquel can cause all sorts of problems in the third trimester especially (withdrawal symptoms and the like when the sprog is born), and really? I’d rather try to fight my crazy bare-handed then have to give birth in the hospital. I know such a setting provides comfort to many, but the thought of it sends me into gibbering terror. Too many people, too much noise, too many lights – I would not be comfortable in such a setting. In fact, I know 500% that I would hurt myself severely because I would be so tensed up and freaking out that it would very likely be a huge dangerous risk to both me AND sprog. I already know that I can quite successfully give birth at home, in that placid and comforting environment, so it is my full intention to make sure that can happen again.

So yeah, just sort of marking time and thinking – it’s a good thing to do. 🙂

<3