Not Quite Yet, Not Quite Me
Still not quite up to talking about the other day; I’m pretty much wiped still. Add in the fact that there’ still crampage… yech. I know, sounds like I’m being a total baby, but let me put it to you this way – I had a natural childbirth at home of my own choice. I’d rather do that every.single.month than deal with the days-long agony that is cramping during my menstrual cycle. At least it serves a purpose and would be over in less than a day, yo.
So yeah, I don’t know… hopefully tomorrow I’ll start to feel like me again. It’s hard to support and succor oneself when y’know… you don’t feel like yourself. And being so tired, so tired… the lack of resource is maddening. I just hope that I am successful in getting pregnant again before it goes full-blown and removes most of my quality of life. Endometriosis, I should mention, is a nasty and under-recognized beast; it meant I had pretty much no energy and no quality of life from age 14 up until I got pregnant with my daughter. Half a lifetime of physical suffering atop mental; I am still surprised that I have made it this far. Granted, most of that period was a haze of booze and drugs and meaningless sex by means of distraction, which is why things feel ‘worse’ now – I don’t have any vices to lean upon. But that’s okay – I’ll figure it out… hopefully.
For now, back to hugging the heating pad and waiting for the pain to subside enough to go find food and beverage outside of my arm’s reach!
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