Apparently, the nightmare that made my G+ feed stressfully busy was boiled down to a grand total of 20 people. Twenty people. 12% of my minute list. And yet, moving them all into their own feed that doesn’t show up in my main feed means that I can see my friend’s stuff without it getting buried, and can browse the busier stream at my leisure without getting upset because I’m ‘missing something’. It’s a ridiculously small change, but it’s amazed me how much of a weight off of my shoulders that has been in the past 24 hours.

But often with mental health issues, it is the little things that kill. I would maintain that most of my friends with bipolar are highly logical; it’s the most reasonable and healthiest tool we can apply to an erratic and irrational mind. But logic can only function so well when drowning in a river of noise; like all things in life, the one reasonable voice is often lost in the crowd. I can go on and on about this, but I accept it probably doesn’t register or make sense unless you’re constantly dealing with it. The same goes for too much input in general; I don’t about others, but my mind shuts down in an attempt to prevent a panic attack. Logic loses out hardcore, because it has no traction to beat out the noise and the high alert nerves.

This also gives me hope that I can wean myself off social networking a bit. I think most of us know it’s like a rat with a feeder bar; we’re gonna keep whapping it to get a reward. Even if that reward is a stupid spam email, we get a nice little pat on the hormonal back. Even now, just writing about it, I run to my email and check to see if anything has come in (and something has; a newsletter I’ve been meaning to unsubscribe from for years). Knowing logically that there’s not likely to be anything important or timely in my boxes or feeds does nothing to drown out the noise of ‘ClickmeclickmeclickmeNOW’, even though it really should.

Anyways, small progress! I consider it a bit of a fluke that I managed to rub the brain power together to make that happen as I am a total zombie today, but I’m grateful that fates collided for that. 😀

<3