Suckerpunched
The last day or two, insomnia has snuck back in. Oh, I’m getting to sleep in fairly good order compliments of the Seroquel, but I’m not tired or sleepy. Which makes it very hard for my brain to switch into shut off mode; I find I’m reading until rather late (yay reading!). But it’s pushed me from where I thought I might be seeing a turnaround in the depression situation because of being not so dead in the morning back into being sad and extra-worn. I know, I know — bipolar and depression don’t work on in a linear fashion, but that doesn’t make me less at peace with going back down.
Still, I should be mindful of where I am in my monthly cycle thing; this is the time where I am normally hit with bonus depression due to influx of hormones (even if that was off-kilter and in the wrong place last month). It also doesn’t help that the weather is making me really woozy, though that could also be whatever the most recent cold or stomach bug going around the family is. I always feel like I’m ill here, ha ha; I didn’t used to be this ‘sick’ in the States! I guess it’s just my immune system still trying to process through all the myriad and different germs/pollens/spores/etc.
Anyways, suffices to say that I am wary at this time, and hoping that I can continue to drag along towards decent.
<3
Hey Raeyn,
Insomnia is one of our worst enemies. I was 50 before I learned that. Seroquel is my go drug for quieting my thoughts so I can sleep also. Hang in there. All of life’s little curves challenge our ability to keep the shiny side up. I can’t identify with the monthly problem. Another one of life’s blessings I’ve forgotten to thank God for.
How long are you out of country, and where are you if you don’t mind me asking. I’m just wondering what you do to manage your meds if your living abroad somewhere.
When we go out of town, it thankfully will be for a very short time. We’ll be making sure my meds are appropriately covered in advance, but shouldn’t be a problem. I would ask about upping my dose, but as we are trying to get kid #2 baking, I’ve opted for under-medicated so I’ll have less to come off of once the sprog sticks. Of course, it’s taking logner than expected, but that’s just how irony rolls. 🙂