It’s a Trap! Always!
While it is wonderful to be home in my own space, I realized something — anxiety sure finds its way to creep in these days. I think I have to concede that my attempts to keep minimalist aren’t fully succeeding, and my addiction to my computers certainly doesn’t help (I say as I play Sims 2 and 3 at the same time on two computers *cough*). Getting up and away from my computers is probably a good thing to do, yanno? It’s just hard when I find my computer chair to be the comfiest seat in the house… and I want to refresh Facebook obsessively… yeah, feeder bar me, just like most everyone these days.
I have one advantage over most people with the feeder bar mentality; it’s not transferred to my mobile phone yet. I’m able to browse and do things on my phone, but because of the screen size and fiddliness, I am not so inclined to do it more than momentarily. No, most of what I use my phone for is mini-games during moments of waiting, and those… I can take of leave without any real stress about losing progress or whatever.
Now, where was I going with this? Oh yes — in short, in spite of my stressful family and their high-energy hijinks, I didn’t feel much anxiety while abroad. I did have time where I was curled up with a computer relaxing, but larger swathes of time were off moving and doing things and driving (I really missed driving, hee hee). Between my family and my ill-settled child, I didn’t get a lot of time to nest. I slept more, I was out more, and I was calmer. This can’t be mere coincidence. I felt better for doing. My best friend? She also felt better for doing. Having said that, we’re still trying to determine if that was us feeding off of each other or not; we tend to buoy each other immensely.
So really, I know that I need to cut the cord here a bit and even just sit three feet away on the couch. I strongly suspect that a slight increase in doing won’t hurt, but I don’t want to push too far at this stage either. Like my doctors want for me, I too want to get stabilized. That means, to me, making small and careful changes and thinking about how they effect the whole. Making myself move away from my delightful crack boxes is a reasonable small change to apply in small measure; it is a good place to start atop my increased dosage. So *sighs* I will turn on the radio, make a coffee… and move three feet away where I cannot even see my screens. This better help, ha ha.
And hopefully all of you out there are doing alright. I -am- mainly well, but there’s always room for improvement!
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