I don’t feel depressed, mind you, but my brain made it clear that we’re moving that way by dint of dreaming. As I’ve mentioned before (I think), my brain tends to get focused on squishy affections and dream-based make-outs based around one of my friends from high school. While it’s all euphoric and sweet and enjoyable, it’s always a clear sign that my brain is trying to stab me in the back. I’m not one of those people who is in a relationship and thinks of others; while there is nothing wrong with that or polyamory (which I am very supportive of for those who are mature enough to make it work), they’re not for me. So I will have to continue being wary and careful, because to do otherwise is to almost invite disaster upon my head. So here’s my reminder to me – think thrice before you speak or type!
And on the subject of not feeling depressed, I’m having a ‘busy’ morning for me. I bathed (always a challenge in the face of constant depression), I went downstairs to turn in and collect my prescription, and I bought myself chunky yarn to make myself a new hat. I’ve already done a bit of crochet this morning, and should shortly finish off a hat for a Christmas gift (I’m making a matched set for my mother-in-law and daughter, ’cause that’s cheesetastically affectionate). I’m also continuing to hope that I’ll make more progress on finishing off my NaNoWriMo story; I’ve written a couple of hundred of words this week, but that’s obviously nothing on the thousands written last month. There’s really not super duper loads to finish, so my complete lack of motivation is slightly annoying. Having said that, I’m still amazed that I won; even knowing I was only trying because I had the feeling I’d have the spoons to pull it off, it’s still sort of a oO-esque looking back for me.
Past that, I shall refrain from commenting on current public events. I think everyone understands that my stance is for significant improvements in mental health care and education, but that is tied to all things, not just happenings in the world that once again have people deciding all murderers are crazy, and all crazies are probably murderers. Plus yanno, evincing any sort of opinion past that in this volatile time is likely to be just the catalyst to trigger a severe depressive episode, so… yeah. *laughs*
Depression Rising — No Comments