As logically expected, last night was fine. I had a good time out, the taxi driver was fabulously friendly like every other local taxiperson I’ve ever ridden with, and I was able to take pleasure in knowing that my husband was actually getting quiet time in our home for once. That… doesn’t happen, so it’s always worth celebrating to my reckoning.
Of course, because my brain wanted to be worked up, it means I’m incredibly on edge today. The childling is feeling poorly and spent most of the morning crying, which didn’t pair well with me feeling a bit flu-ish. I snapped at an overly chatty kinnie in LotRO because he never.stops.messaging me. My father-in-law seems to be carrying an especially foul odor the last couple of days, so after getting another dose of it in my workspace this morning, I’m sitting here nervously listening for him to come downstairs so I can run and hide in the bathroom. My guts feel irritable enough to make me think about the fact that the norovirus//winter vomiting bug thingie here is better known as stomach flu or food poisoning in the States…
*hides in the bathroom* My kingdom for a stuffed nose, for reals.
On that tangent, I will say that I continue to find great relief in knowing that it is a very common thing for bipolar folks to have senses that are waaaaaaaaaaaaay too sensitive. That’s been one of the best parts of diagnosis for me — I know have a much better understanding of my assorted tics that people tend to look at me funny for (or even better, accuse me of making up!). I can acknowledge to the moon and back how uncomfortable that is for other people to be around, but I still have to point out that those people aren’t in my shoes, and cannot possibly understand the depth of my suffering. I think my mother-in-law and husband sort of understand, because they have to hear with some frequency how triggering my father-in-law is for me. I do my best to make it clear to them that I don’t expect them to do anything, nor do I necessarily fault him for his smells and sounds and space invading and… well, you guys have all seen the list over the lifetime of this blog. I do my best to cope with him as he comes, but I do wish I didn’t have to be quite so avoidant. It makes me feel mildly guilty for things that aren’t either of our faults. Still, a bath and a hearing aid would do him a lot of good right now… *cough*
Anyways, I guess today is just going to be a thin-skin day. Here’s hoping I can hunker down and not let it get to me.
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