After a few days of worrying over the body ‘problem’, I hit epiphany mode — yay! And no, it wasn’t win the lottery and get a tummy tuck, though I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be down with that (because with lotto winnings, I could also develop a fashionable painkiller addiction, har har har). Yes, it is totally stressful when the mind latches onto one thing and worries over it obsessively, but in those moments where the bipolar and anxiety part enough to hit reason and realization almost makes the suffering worthwhile. At least, it helped me remember something that had eluded me that might be of use, so that should shoosh the brain over that particular tactic for some time (fingers crossed).

For the most part though, I’m very wary of my bipolar driving me to obsession. The last couple of years have required a lot of adjustment and realization on my part to not trigger things, and I am (for the most part) cautiously optimistic that I’m moving in the right direction. Okay, my brain keeps trying to find new ways to make obsessive thinking happen, or to force intrusive imagery, but that is pretty last gasp considering the ways in which I cognate. That isn’t to say that there is a complete lack of power in what they bring into my head, but at least for the moment, I can mainly wrangle those down and out before they can do any real harm.

So anyways, I’m happy enough with things for this exact moment.

<3