I was feeling so anxiety jaggy yesterday that I helped myself to one of my remaining 25mg tabs of Seroquel. It’s a holdover from what… the original bipolar diagnosis that got ignored because they lost their paperwork, but a useful one nonetheless. It didn’t knock me out (which was pleasing), but it did make me a bit cloudy. But hey, the edges were soothed down, and that was good. I look forward to getting the proper 50mg long release tabs to add to my other two pills, I do I do I do.

I also remembered that I need to book in to find out what the blood test suggested as relates to the Seroquel and my menstrual cycle. I’m penciled in to see the locum tomorrow, which is sort of a relief. My GP (who I generally like) seems to think that the birth control pill is the answer to everything, and I’m not inclined to agree. If I wanted something to regulate my cycle, I’d want something that made it go away, like the implant or the shot or whatever. But we’re still not sure if we want another kid, so I don’t want to commit to something that works on a scale of years either. So I guess we will see what the blood test suggests. I guess I’m stable enough now that I could risk hormonal birth control without the high probability of going flat-out homicidal (which I always figured to be a very real risk with how unstable my chemicals were before the bipolar diagnosis and the Seroquel). I certainly would prefer to stay on the Seroquel one way or the other, and if birth control is the option I have to consider… *shakes head* Honestly, I don’t think it’s the meds. I think it’s resurgent endometriosis, but misconceptions about the nature of such make it so.freaking.hard to push that case to diagnosis!

Anyways, it’s another juggling act… joy. Hopefully the blood test will give us some clue of where to move next.

<3