I’ve come to a slow realization the last couple of days that I am probably experiencing a bipolar mixed episode. I’m dragging and feeling avoidant, I’m easily irritated, and I want to *ahem* DO ALL THE THINGS! I know that it’s a risky time to live through, but the hypomania is keeping me feeling warm enough that I cannot envision doing anything to harm myself. I have myself well convinced that it’s not that bad, that it’ll be over shortly, that all is fairly peachy and that well, a little fatigue isn’t the end of the world.
Having said that, I -am- trying my best to be mindful; mindfulness is one of the many useful tools in my keeping sane arsenal against bipolar. I’ve burned myself too many times by riding the wave of good, and while I do try to use it to the fullest, I know how easily overdoing it can drag me back down to the worst places. I am doing my best to pay the most attention to the bad, the anxiety, the irritability, the exhaustion, but not to dwell on them. At least, when I can remember; my attention is fragmentary at best right now.
Still, what else can I do but keep on keeping on, and hoping that things even back out again? Not much really, so that is what I shall do.
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