I received the card for my next psychiatrist appointment this morning. It always makes me feel like I’m waiting for an owl mail, waiting for these cards to drop out of clear air. I am flabbergasted level of relieved that my appointment is next month, rather than June; because I’m semi-stable, my appointments are only ever three months at current. This will be only two months. Only three weeks away. I don’t have to wait as long to ask again for anxiety help. And, I think, I might get it this time around, considering!

I’m also amused at the continued magick of when my appointments fall as is related to other things in my life. For example, my appointment in September fell the day before I was headed out of the country to visit my family back in Dallas. This one falls the day after I get to see my German ‘brother’ and some of his family for the first time in 12 years. He is an exchange student we took in the 80s who became family of choice, and while his level-headed calm always vexed me as a child, I admire and love him for it all the same. Seeing him will be a good thing for my psyche — it’s family, but family that was distant enough to (hopefully!) have little in the way of misconceptions about who I am as a person. Also, the timing of appointments means not having to use the phone to change appointments, which is very very good because using a phone is very very triggering for me!

But that does lead me to a question — am I being too passive in waiting for my appointments to discuss medications? While I don’t deem this current mixed state particularly dangerous (because come on, who of us does when we’re experiencing it?), I know I could technically go to A&E and ask them to adjust my medicines if I felt it was warranted. I *think* that my husband would encourage me to do that if it were bad enough though… shite if I know. *doinks brain* It’s that old saw of not wanting to be a bother, but having to be very upfront and self-advocating to get things taken care of, yanno?

Anyways, for now I’m continuing to hold up. And I think I will be doing even better with it ’cause I get to stay home tomorrow (insert continued gratitude at having married into a flexible working environment), but we will see. For now, I should try to get some work done.

I hope that everyone is having a lovely day.

<3