I think I accidentally double-dosed myself on the Seroquel last night — whups. Having said that, I slept like the dead and woke up feeling fairly alert. You see, I number the pills in their blister packs so that I can match up date to date, but I was somehow a day ahead last night? But I didn’t remember actually taking anything, so I wasn’t about to go without. I’m going to be hilariously screwed when I’m older and missing even more brainbits, ha ha.

Whatever the case, I’m feeling almost human today… almost. As long as things stay fairly quiet and calm. As long as the internet isn’t out for too long (there’s maintenance on the line for a few days, making access intermittent). As long as I can keep finding ways to keep my increasingly bored brain vaguely occupied. As long as I don’t get too cold — I’m cold enough to be bundled up, ’cause the outside temperatures have gone back to being in the 40s and 50s (Fahrenheit, natch). As long as

As long as

As long as I can remember to keep breathing in and out, slowly and leisurely. As long as I keep a steady stream of caffeine in my system. As long as I can possess the wisdom to go find a quiet corner if everything starts to get on top of me. As long as

As long as

As long as it’s all conditional, this see-saw place my brain occupies. T’would be nice to be back on terra firma! Or yanno, to be solidly grounded by default — while I am not normally tempted by the idea of an Easy button, every now and again I can admit to myself it would be nice if things weren’t so difficult all the damned time. But then, were it not, would I appreciate my life as much? Probably not. Good and bad is relative, and all of it is exploitable to make oneself a better person. 🙂

Anyhoos, I should go find some more caffeine; alertness is wearing off for whatever reason. I hope everyone is having a good weekend.

<3