Sunday Morning Non-Blues
Good morning all, or afternoon — whatever time it might be for you guys out there. It’s afternoon here, but my brain is in that sort of timeless state where it’s not really concerned about the progression of the day. But it’s not a bad thing — I feel pretty cheerful and solid. There’s not a lot rattling around in the brain box, but that’s fine. The dizziness is less today, and my shoulder doesn’t seem to be twinging at all (well, the one that was hurting. The other one is pulling slightly now, ha ha). I’m still not fully mended physically, but I’m feeling very hopeful for my state once I am!
And what will I do once I’m better mended? Well, I think I’ve mentioned that I’ve noticed that it feels like I have a bit of a buffer — that enables me to consider projects, because it won’t decimate me if I’m interrupted. Stability also aids in that regard; I can’t really brain for writing if my mood and brain are chasing each other all over Hell. I’m still doing my best to be mindful that I don’t dive into anything that I won’t be able to commit myself to, which is definitely aided by the fact I’m coming out of that mixed episode/depression. I do have things I want to do, namely finishing my poor NaNoWriMo story. I think it might happen — we’ll see. I’m definitely going to opt for optimism though, as long as I can. 🙂
For now, I return to my epic quest to consume too much caffeine, ’cause it makes my brain happy. I hope everyone had a great Saturday, and that Sunday is all sorts of nice and peaceful.
<3
Peaceful I will take! You too
I just wish the optimism would make the dizziness go away, hee hee. It keep sneaking up on me when I think that it’s gone away. Ah well, I guess I’ll keep drinking water until I float away!
Steady on my friend.
“I’m still doing my best to be mindful that I don’t dive into anything that I won’t be able to commit myself to…”
Now there’s a skill I haven’t mastered yet. Not even close.
It boils down to engaging in a frustratingly high level of avoidant behavior, which is less than ideal. Even if it’s not as bad or detrimental as it used to be, there’s still residual perfectionism lurking, waiting to throw a shitfit if I break a promise of any stripe. So I can coach it into positive terms and it’s accurate, because I’m taking care of myself. But there’s certainly that negative side, wherein I’m not even trying on some things ’cause my brain already shut itself down over whatever. At least with the antidepressant, it feels like I might be spawning enough of a buffer to consider trying things properly! 😀