Decompression Tiems
My brain is delightfully blank right now. I’m just sort of kicking back and playing Dragon Age 2, and feeling vaguely relaxed.
Well, emphasis on vague — life with a three year old is rarely relaxing. She’s eating her lunch right now and randomly yelling out edicts. And, being three, she throws quite a wobbly if she doesn’t get her way. It doesn’t help that as good as her communication skills are, they’ve still got a ways to go on expressing exactly what her desires are. I can forgive her getting upset because she doesn’t get her way though — I feel nearly as emotionally stunted and explosive when things don’t swing my way. Am I comparing Bipolar to being three? Well, maybe a little bit, maybe in my case.
Now, my husband — he’s totally the mom in this family. He’s nurturing and more patient than me, and doesn’t freak out at being near fecal manner. Me being the most elastic of the family here, and freakishly strong, I fling her around and tickle her to hysterics, and fill that traditional male role when I manage to come out of my bubble. We’re happy with how things work, because Lilbit gets lots of love from both of us, and rounded parenting.
But that means that sometimes, once in awhile, I have to fill in as Mom. My husband is DJing a wedding tonight (he does one a decade), so I’ve got kiddo duty tonight. We always have fun when I’m up to bat, I manage any poop that happens with as little flailing as possible (though there’s always -some- flailing), and yeah — she’s a little person now, so we manage to come to semi-decent understandings. But I’m always wary too, ’cause even if I might have a tiny bit of a buffer now, the unlogical response to life that small children bring tends to shred it, and just about every other part of my psyche.
So yeah, wish me luck! She’s in a phase of liking me fairly well right now, so it’ll probably be fine. I just fret ’cause I want to be the best parent possible to my little doppleclone, and as confident as I might be in most things… well, those of you who are parents know — parenting isn’t easy, even if you’re ‘sane’.
Hope everyone is doing well!
<3
enjoy!!
I survived the day, so yes… enjoyment indeed! π
π Good to hear!
I pray it goes well for you tonight. My wife did the lion’s share of parenting for our four children, but I still have fond memories of good times.
It went well, thank you. She was so cooperative that I had her in bed rather early! I’d started the routine at a time I thought would work out to her actual bedtime, but not a single stall.
My bipolar was rocking while my daughter was growing up so I missed way too much. Cherish every second you have with her.
We do our best to enjoy our time as sanity allows. It’s been wonderful how much I’ve been able to smile and genuinely feel/enjoy things as we’ve gotten closer to the right drug cocktail. Plus yanno, her being that little bit older and more interactive.
I am, by and large, mentally healthy and well-adjusted. This is something I’m constantly grateful for because I have a number of people very close to me who struggle with composure daily. But kids are *hard.* I frequently feel overwhelmed and want to give up. I can’t imagine the strength it takes to get through parenting when getting through just being yourself is a tremendous amount of work. Love you, Rae. You’re doing so well, even when it doesn’t feel like you are.
Love you too! <3