The Drill
We all know the drill — it’s so much harder to come up with blog fodder when things are going well. And they are, sort of. I was able to handle driving this morning, which sort of fell into my lap — the husband fellow is quite ill, and it made sense for me to do it. Even though I know I can drive, my brain goes into a weird bubble at the thought and it makes me wary of my ability to operate a motor vehicle. Which is silly, ’cause the bubble is all sorts of hyper-vigilant, but eh… brains are weird.
Words are also starting to come back to my brain, slowly but surely. I managed some progress on my languishing NaNoWriMo story, though I don’t know if I can repeat that today. We’ll see — I’ve got my magic album on (Swoon by the Silversun Pickups), so it might encourage my brain.
I’m still not quite up to dealing with people yet, but I think that time is getting closer. That is to say — I’ll talk to my best friends, but I’m not up for wider-scale socialization past that. I think that day is coming soon, but I’m not rushing it. Oh, there’s some dabbling on Twitter, on Facebook — I’m finding that what my brain is offering up for me to put out there has made for fruitful interaction. Perhaps the antidepressant is helping clear away some of my paranoia and shadows enough to enable me to be happy dabbling in treacle.
For the moment though, I’m having a belated coffee, and enjoying le grind that is work. Slowly but surely, humanity is reasserting itself in me. Or erm, feeling human. One of those things with the words, ha ha.
I hope everyone is having a pleasant day!
<3
Wow Raeyn, our similarities are uncanny (hope that’s the right word to use)! We are both struggling with issues behind the wheel no doubt, not to mentio a little social anxiety. I’m sorry you are having to deal with these difficulties but at least I know I’m not alone–especially with regards to driving! Hope you have a blessed day! Keep me posted on your progress! I’m sure you’ve heard this before–Progress not Perfection!
What a fantastic mantra! I am a mainly recovered perfectionist, so I know how damaging that can be. 🙂
Driving is weird. I drive, for work, nearly everyday and spend the whole time i am out worrying that i am going to hit something, ppl, cars, buildings. Then when i am out on my bike i worry that someone is going to hit me*lol* Then i give myself a good talking too and remind myself that i can only do my best, which is the only thing we can all do. Last night i made two errors on the way home and spent the whole night beating myself up about it and yet i bet no one would have noticed these mistakes but me. Mind you i always said i would not be the cause of an accident and i think having had that mindset all my life it has impacted on my ability to judge whether or not i am safe. To expect to be perfect every time i am driving/riding is an almost impossible standard to live up to. Instead of perfection i need to be satisfied that i have got to where i wanted in a safe and timely fashion. Not to worry about being an inch wide on the exit of a corner or something. Perfection is the beast that rides on our backs and never gives us a break…..and that is enough of my rambling*hugs*
Rambling is good! One thought that has always popped into my head off and on over the years (I got my license in the States in 2000) is that we’re these fleshy meatbags driving things heavy metal things what usually weigh in excess of a ton. It’s sort of creepy!
Totally agree with you on that. I go from driving an 18 tonner to a 3.5 ton to what ever the car weighs then to the real light weight the ZX-RR, which ways about the same as a slightly over weight feather! The biggest difference though is going from an automatic, in the 3.5, to a manual. It takes a few moments to remember that i have to use the clutch and that can often have me shaking my head in amazement at my stupidity.
I made a point to get my full licence, but yeah… we have an automatic. I am happy with this!