I am accidentally spoonless today. I saw something that surprised and shocked me to such a degree that I was kind of concerned I’d go off the deep end (one of my dearest friends interacting with someone who was horrible to me in school, but said friend had no reason to know this before I left her a note explaining things). But I convinced myself to unstink for once, and I guess I feel calmer after having a bath. I’m sure my kid’ll let me know much much she appreciates me not smelling, ha ha. And said friend acknowledged my upset, so I’m feeling much happier that she is thusly informed. She certainly does not owe me anything in this regard!
I don’t have any spoons left though, which is kind of frustrating. I’d hoped to do some laundry-folding today, and maybe some writing as well. Instead, I’m just sort of sitting here maintaining homeostasis (I once loudly declared the need to do such while on LSD as a kid, and the phrase continues to delight me for some reason). I’m happy after a fashion — while the shock might’ve wiped out my reserves for the day, I’m still standing strong without the need for topping up my meds. I didn’t break down sobbing and throwing things — logic managed to prevail, which is awesome. I didn’t expect that I’d be able to manage it because I started the day already feeling completely wiped out.
Anyways, hopefully I’ll perk up a bit. Maybe some music will help? We’ll see. I’ll opt for more caffeine at this exact moment though. 🙂
I hope everyone is having a good day.
Things we can’t control, Part I! *relate-face* Well done for letting go of the struggle. It would be so easy to get sucked in but you didn’t allow it. We have our health to put first. Homeostatis, even! So well done, you, and enjoy that coffee. 🙂 x
I’m slowly figuring out letting go, hee hee. It’s taking a long time, but that’s okay — it’ll get there eventually. 🙂