I have a three and a half year old daughter; I tend to bring her up once in awhile. But what I probably don’t say as often is how painfully irrational and hard-headed kids that age are. Oh, she’s sweet and hilarious… then she’s nuclear meltdown because they’re the wrong shoes (even if they’re the ones she asked for), or we dare to hurry her along, or won’t ‘go away’ when we’re stopping her from doing something dangerous. No kiddo, Mommy isn’t going to go away and turn around when you’re trying to wriggle out of your car seat. :p
Still, even though it frustrates me to the spiking hell, I totally commiserate with that level of brain hell. I’ve always tried to apply logic as a tool to get me through each day, but sometimes, the brain just refuses to cooperate (as most of us know). There is no reason, there is no why, and while sometimes one can pin down one flailing tentacle of illogic with reason and understanding, that doesn’t change the fact that the rest of the brain-octopus is rampaging and squirting everything that moves with inky muhahah. Hrmm, maybe that’s why OCD is so highly co-morbid with bipolar — stupid unclean, something something.
I’m minded of a quote I saw yesterday. It’s from Stephen Fry and is specifically on the subject of suicide in bipolar, but it’s relevant across the board:
“There is no ‘why’, it’s not the right question. There’s no reason. If there were a reason for it, you could reason someone out of it, and you could tell them why they shouldn’t take their own life,” he said.’
Makes sense to me — there’s a lot of no reason in both bipolar and three year olds. If it were as easy as reasoning, I think most of us would be the happiest folk in the world. But oh well, nevermind — I’ll keep doing my best, y’all will keep doing your best, and maybe my kiddo will eventually be less of a pain in the ass. Wait, in 15 or more years you say to that last one? D’oh! *giggles*
Anyways, hope everyone is doing well.
I commend you for even having the courage to raise a child. With all the mental health issues I have, I have decided to not have children. I know it must be difficult to juggle bipolar and childrearing, yet you appear to be doing an amazing job..and that deserves much more than a pat on the back. Kudos to you!!
Daw, thanks. I try to do the best by her. I know I’ll screw it up some, ’cause human, but that’s okay. I can just hope it doesn’t cost her too much in therapy later in life. 😀