I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve made that Wicked Witch of the West reference in the past month, ha ha. But it’s apt — I feel like the tag-end of a candle, slumped and misshapen. It’s making it really hard for me to decide whether or not the being physically worn down is depression, or merely the weather. I -am- relieved that my appointment has been postponed until September though — it gives me more time to analyse and decide. While I do think 3-4 months is not a bad spacing for appointments, I seem blessed with having problems directly after them, so… waiting another month is fine by me.
I continue to be in good spirits, though. I’m enjoying my work (’cause doing accounts is fun, honest! *grins*). I’m enjoying my hobbies. I’m enjoying my family. I absolutely cannot complain about any of these things. My brain is slowly starting to come back around to spitting up words, which is fantastic. And the icing on this week’s cake is being nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award by my lovely friend over at A Place That Does Not Exist! I will hopefully respond appropriately to that in the next couple of days; I’ve not had the brain power or time to think about it quite yet.
I do think that there’s a chance my antidepressant will need to be boosted though, if I’m honest with myself. It has been doing an amazing job evening me out, but I have a feeling that a slightly larger dose than my current 50mg might lock me into… remission? Sanity? Normalcy? I don’t think I can ever count any of those things as being me, per se, but I’m still really happy to be in such a good place. Having said that, I could be totally wrong and a bigger dose could tip me into rapid cycling hell again. Once again, I’m glad for that month to think about things.
Righto, I am going to go stick my head in the freezer now for a minute — if I can complain about one thing, it’s that I’d much rather be home in the one air conditioned room we have! *grins*
I hope everyone is doing well.